shaw 🍑

all I want to do is write and drink so by transitive property I am Ernest Hemingway ❤️ she/her

[shaw 🍑 @thebitextual]

corporate america: noo don’t kill urself we already trained you 🙈 aha

[shaw 🍑 @thebitextual]

as a lesbian, i am calling it right now that percy hynes white (xavier thorpe from #Wednesday) is gonna be the next white boy of the month

[shaw 🍑 @thebitextual]

politicians be like “my final ask…..” and then email you 14 more times in the next two hours

[shaw 🍑 @thebitextual]

coworker telling me about a time when she hooked up with her hinge date and it was SO. BAD. that when her car literally just needed a jump the next morning she refused his offer to jump it and called AN ENTIRE TOW TRUCK

[shaw 🍑 @thebitextual]

it’s normally one of those categories i never pay attention to but Don’t Worry Darling 10000% deserves an Oscar for sound editing (no comment on everything else)

[ATLAS @somethinglovely]

after sending the most depressing worrying text to my friends

[bobbi loves vampires ❤️ @hiimbobbi]

Imagine being Chris Pine, a PROFESSIONAL actor. Flip phone is charged. Feminist theory books on deck for your down time between junkets. You show up to your cast HATING each other and you get stuck on a junket with a man who has seemingly just figured out what acting is? Wow.

[shaw 🍑 @thebitextual]

it’s actually fuckin insane that i have to wash my sheets and mop my floors and then next week i’m gonna have to wash my sheets and mop my floors AGAIN?????? like what the actual fuck

[li | ⸆⸉ @cowboylikelilah]

sick to my stomach

[shadon @pvrekhs]

i love how she was wearing herself on her shirt and it wasn’t even part of the plot or mentioned or anything it was just her outfit

[A League of Their Own @LeagueOnPrime]

How'd you get this picture of me?

[shaw 🍑 @thebitextual]

the iliad is one of my faves and patroclus was always my fav character so i knew i’d love The Song of Achilles but what is really killing me is its portrayal of odysseus as the original Wife Guy™️ lmfaoooo

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Coworker Loudly Typing Away Like 1930s Cub Reporter Chasing Hot Lead https://t.co/fjntZ994uX

[Sophia Bush @SophiaBush]

Nothing like watching your phone tumble off a cliff and explode into pieces just 4 days into a 10 day trip. The universe really said “take a BREAK woman.” So. I did.

Hi everyone, I made it home! ♥️⚡️🪩

[shaw 🍑 @thebitextual]

@BeeBabs @SophiaBush PLEASE tell me sophia has been following your OTH rewatch!!!! and PLEASE tell me that bolu has been following your Drama Queens podcast!!! you two are the BEST!!!!!