Hockey Zebra Jesus

life.

[Hockey Zebra Jesus @theboffing]

This man has MUCH more grace & restraint than me. This fuckin creep follows my daughters & I into the bathroom making them cry, puts his hands on me, blocks me from leaving with them? His ass would have been KOd on the ground with a dislocated jaw. I could learn a lot from him.

[Kim "Katie" USA @KimKatieUSA]

The father of the two young girls who went viral after a man yelled at him for taking them into an empty women’s restroom has shared an update.

He said police were called and arrived quickly. Officers told him he did nothing wrong and even took the time to speak with his daughters. They reassured the girls that they were safe and that police are there to protect them.

He also thanked the QuikTrip employee who stepped in and helped during the situation. He made it clear he does not want the man who yelled at him to be harassed by anyone online.

[kira 👾 @kirawontmiss]

NYC is not happy with Elmo😭

[ella devi @ellad3vi]

they were parading elmo's head around on a pike last night

[Hockey Zebra Jesus @theboffing]

Why is Dolan on the stage? He's not even a Knicks fan.

[Hockey Zebra Jesus @theboffing]

@BrandonMileski Can't believe MN Made isn't on this list.

[Hockey Zebra Jesus @theboffing]

Wow wow wow wow wow wow wow

[DOJA CAT @DojaCat]

hey elon if u see this please put the audio post feature back on here. Thanks, u frog build looking bitch. Barrel chested ewok u look like u eat sand.

[emily @getalongemily]

Thinking about when my dad tried to take a passport photo but accidentally pressed the muppet button

[Hockey Zebra Jesus @theboffing]

@prieurdp It's safer to pull forward out of a parking spot than to back out of one. It's that simple, not sure why you're crying about it.

[Hockey Zebra Jesus @theboffing]

Should be an automatic permanent suspension of her driver's license.

[Breaking911 @Breaking911]

Seattle’s Link Light Rail service was suspended after a driver somehow ended up on the tracks at Mount Baker Station, an elevated platform roughly 30 feet above street level.

[Hockey Zebra Jesus @theboffing]

Translation - "I'm that desperate for money that I'll sell my soul to play my one hit song that stole its beat for Satan himself".

[E X X ➠A L E R T S @ExxAlerts]

NEW: Vanilla Ice joined “TMZ LIVE,” explaining why he won't drop out of Freedom 250 in D.C.

"I'll go play for Putin, and I'll play in Iran if you want... Music is not political, man."

"We're just entertainers, man. Just get out, shut up, and play."

[Disparu @disparutoo]

We have now invented popcorn buckets that can't hold popcorn

[Secular Talk ([email protected]) @KyleKulinski]

Sorry, we’re not doing this when every Republican is a pedophile a rapist and a child murderer. It could be 300 women. Don’t care.

[the german gentleman aka grubauer's #1 fan @midaeros]

The body cam footage was literally so funny. Cops will literally waste everyone's fucking time instead of admitting they were wrong.

[patrick. @imPatrickT]

the original iconic BACKROOMS photo was yellow because the camera incorrectly white balanced.

you can easily recreate the look by pushing your camera very warm to create a similar feel without editing.

this subway station in Toronto actually has white walls.

[Headquarters @HQNewsNow]

Stephen Miller has been ratioed with the following message:

"shut up you ugly fuck"

[Democrats @TheDemocrats]

@StephenM shut up you ugly fuck

[Hockey Zebra Jesus @theboffing]

@libsoftiktok Shut the fuck up, you hypocritical hobag. Go suck on Orange Daddy's McDonalds farts.

[SinBin.vegas @SinBinVegas]

And now for the real ceremony...

Bring out the plushies!!!

[Sam Alberti @sam_alberti]

part of me fears the average texas voter would rather see their home be foreclosed upon that vote for someone they think is kinda gay