ANDREW

[ANDREW @thebrighten]

@number1Perales Can’t pull anything over on her I swear.

[ANDREW @thebrighten]

My daughter when I tell her if she sleeps in her own bed she can have a gummy bear (multivitamin) in the morning. The first thing she says when she wakes up is gummy bear.

[ANDREW @thebrighten]

My daughter is potty training so now anytime I go to the bathroom she says “good job going potty like a big girl” 😂

[ANDREW @thebrighten]

30 minutes before my daughters costume day at daycare she’s having a meltdown because she wants to be Elsa again and not a cat… she then proceeded to have a meltdown until she was a cat with her Elsa boots on.

[ANDREW @thebrighten]

I wear a t-shirt and pants everyday to work and I wear a polo today and everyone thinks I have something super important and that I dressed professionally. The bar is low and we love to see it.

[ANDREW @thebrighten]

27 and just figured out you can microwave ziplock baggies?

[ANDREW @thebrighten]

Just got the most random urge to wanna bowl… I think bowling is underrated tbh.

[ANDREW @thebrighten]

My daughter told me our cat had a hole… in a panic i found our cat and it turns out the hole is her butthole…

[ANDREW @thebrighten]

I forgot how nice it feels once you’re done running

[ANDREW @thebrighten]

First week back in a gym in over a year has absolutely destroyed me

[ANDREW @thebrighten]

This week I’ve been randomly placed on Ohio Viking festival tik tok and it’s kinda lit and cringe at the same time.

[ANDREW @thebrighten]

Just watched my daughter dip her waffles in syrup and then ketchup… kids are demons man.

[ANDREW @thebrighten]

I got a cat and honestly she’s so chill

[ANDREW @thebrighten]

My daughter just asked me for more pizza and I had to tell her it was all gone like my fatass didn’t eat it all 30 minutes ago :/

[Jo @JoJoFromJerz]

The fact that FIVE PEOPLE can tell 167,500,000 women in America what they can and cannot do with their own bodies is a f*cking travesty.

[ANDREW @thebrighten]

Actually disgusting

[ANDREW @thebrighten]

The amount of people that wait outside Costco to get in at exactly 10 is actually kinda crazy.

[ANDREW @thebrighten]

@number1Perales Gotta get rid of this paleness somehow

[ANDREW @thebrighten]

Once you can drink a beer mowing your lawn becomes 1000x cooler

[ANDREW @thebrighten]

My daughter woke up from the thunder last night and was terrified… so I had to lay down in her bed and my back be hurting today.