💋

i miss my old account but twitter hates me and banned it for no reason

[💋 @thebxtchyone]

Stop acting silly and pissing me off before I pull a mf or two off the bench

[💋 @thebxtchyone]

Carving pumpkins as a 2nd date. 10/10 recommend.

[💋 @thebxtchyone]

Y’all ever had a man not only talk you through it, but also count you down to cum? I don’t know what kind of sorcery it is, but something about it just works.

[💋 @thebxtchyone]

My employee - “do you dislike it when we call you Ms.wright?”
Me - “my mom mostly just calls me a bitch so I’ll take it.”
Oops my bad. That was an inside thought that slipped out

[💋 @thebxtchyone]

Listen, my friends know that I have a tendency to flake, or wanna stay home, or take 2-5 business days to text back, BUTTTTT they also know that anytime they need a professional sounding correspondence typed out, I got them. Balance is important.

[💋 @thebxtchyone]

I would sell my left coochie lip to have my old twitter before I got banned, back.

[Soup @soupinthering]

Men unwilling to be corny and lovey dovey with their girlfriends as if it won’t lead to the sloppiest nastiest top of their lives

[💋 @thebxtchyone]

Irate bc I got every single red light possible on my drive home from work today

[COCO @TWOTIMESABITCH]

I WANT A PHYSICAL FUCKING MENU AT A RESTAURANT. NONE OF THIS QR CODE BULLSHIT

[💋 @thebxtchyone]

SAY LESSSSSS

[💋 @thebxtchyone]

Woke up in the middle of the night to take some Tylenol, woke up extra autistic this morning.

[💋 @thebxtchyone]

This man really be pissing me off so bad that I copy and pasted his text back to him so he hears how silly he’s being.

[💋 @thebxtchyone]

A man really sent me a handwritten letter in the mail with a wax seal and everything. I might be in love.

[💋 @thebxtchyone]

What part of my lack of response to this man for 3 days screams “please send me a good morning video of you rubbing your dick 😍” ? Asking for a friend

[💋 @thebxtchyone]

I know for a fact, I’m not the problem because I consistently still have guys from 2016 coming back and trying to hit my line again

[💋 @thebxtchyone]

Time to find a new batch of bfs bc the last lot was wildly disappointing

[💋 @thebxtchyone]

Me and my best friend were at half priced books and we just kept getting really excited over good finds and this lady came up to us and gave us a $20 gift card 🥺🥺🥺

[💋 @thebxtchyone]

Me and my best friend are walking through a thrift store and we walked past the section and she said “I feel like I’m in Auschwitz and this is where they put all the shoes of the people.“ she really just keeps my jaw on the floor.

[💋 @thebxtchyone]

The way me and my bestie were watching Hamilton and she is obsessed and she goes “I wanna get cancer so I can use my make a wish to meet them”… not much leaves me speechless but that one fs did

[💋 @thebxtchyone]

I went day drinking yesterday and had a great time. I understand all my alcoholic friends now. I get it. Not a worry in the world all day yesterday 🤣