Quackenbush

20 yrs real job → freshly laid off → funny stories, news jokes & absurd comedy at Boomer memes, insane rhymes & more. Proceed with caution.

[Quackenbush @TheComedyQ]

Peg: “Al… let’s have sex”
Al: “Eh… no Peg”
(Flushes toilet)

[Quackenbush @TheComedyQ]

“I think I am going to become a scientologist”

[Quackenbush @TheComedyQ]

Spacey: (to Director) “Are you sure we can’t get a dude in here for this scene?”

[Quackenbush @TheComedyQ]

“Hey. How come I didn't get to see Diggler’s hog? Everybody else got to see it. Jack got to see it, Amber got to see it. I thought we were good friends?”

[Quackenbush @TheComedyQ]

Director: “Okay move over Stern... someone get the fake skeleton with the wig”
Daniel Stern: “Pft… that skeleton looks nothing like me”

[Quackenbush @TheComedyQ]

“I still can’t believe you stuck your entire arm in that pile of stegosaurus shit”

[Quackenbush @TheComedyQ]

“I hate that Chris Rock”

[Quackenbush @TheComedyQ]

“Seriously? It’s cum?”

[Quackenbush @TheComedyQ]

“You know the director’s in this movie and says the N word, right?”

[Quackenbush @TheComedyQ]

“I know… but after Isaac Kappy said all that stuff about me I just did what I had to do”

[Quackenbush @TheComedyQ]

“Someone is going to make a statue of Trump and Epstein doing this”

[Quackenbush @TheComedyQ]

“Damnit Blanche you skank! Quit trying to finger me!”
#Sitcoms

[Quackenbush @TheComedyQ]

“Yeah, I was around when the Manson family did all that stuff… so what?”

[Quackenbush @TheComedyQ]

“I’ve got a great idea! You should quit Cheers to focus on your movie career”

#Sitcoms #Cheers

[Quackenbush @TheComedyQ]

“Do I need to use that same weird microphone as Bob Barker?”

#Sitcoms

[Quackenbush @TheComedyQ]

Carl: “The fuck did you just say to me you little creep?”

#Sitcoms

[Quackenbush @TheComedyQ]

“Uh… I swear it wasn’t me… it was uh, Al... and Wilson”

#Sitcoms #Captions

[Quackenbush @TheComedyQ]

Tim: “Oh good, you like those new vibrating panties I made ya”

#Sitcoms #HomeImprovement

[Quackenbush @TheComedyQ]

Director: “I know! We all agree that they are great boobs… but keep looking over here”

[Quackenbush @TheComedyQ]

”I hate my brother”