Dan

My name is Dan.

[Dan @TheDanSpector]

@mollykiernan I’m in a zoom with you right now and this is extremely accurate

[Dan @TheDanSpector]

Bummer

[Dan @TheDanSpector]

Today my therapist told me I’m a “cool guy” and I feel like this was a breakthrough for both of us

[Dan @TheDanSpector]

New year new toothbrush

[Dan @TheDanSpector]

Whales are always playing fuck, marry, krill

[Dan @TheDanSpector]

I burn my hands every single time I wash them

[Dan @TheDanSpector]

I voted!

[Dan @TheDanSpector]

I successfully rode the bus today

[Dan @TheDanSpector]

I’m a scientist!

[Dan @TheDanSpector]

Do Jell-O shots expire

[Dan @TheDanSpector]

I voted!

[Dan @TheDanSpector]

Pickled coffee is all the rage

[Dan @TheDanSpector]

@cocotweetsLA B3st month every yr

[Dan @TheDanSpector]

October was a good month

[Dan @TheDanSpector]

Oh my god my foot is asleep and he’s never going to wake up

[Dan @TheDanSpector]

@KATIEBARSOTTI Well now it’s impossible to tell how you truly feel about anything

[Dan @TheDanSpector]

@KATIEBARSOTTI I bring my own bowling shoes to a bowling alley. Is this the same thing

[Dan @TheDanSpector]

Made a vampire teeth joke at the dentist today and no one laughed

[Dan @TheDanSpector]

Hey there Dodger Stadium, the World Series looks good on ya

[Dan @TheDanSpector]

Dessert idea: a cake made out of potato salad

[Dan @TheDanSpector]

Sriracha is the best salad dressing