Teenage Jesus: [walks into home after long day]
Joseph: close the door, what were you raised in a barn?
Jesus: [muttering under his breath] born in one-
Joseph: What was that?!
[In-laws house]
Me: *breaks wishbone*
Wife: make a wish!
Me: *closes eyes*
Wife: what did you wish for?
Son: [comes into kitchen] can we go home?
Me: *smiling* oh nothing
My hands sweating as I grip the sides of the chair, awaiting my inevitable death by electrocution... but I am calm. The judge allowed me to choose my executioner. "Throw the switch" the judge says, I smile one last time. "My pleasure", says my local Chick-Fil-A cashier.
God: what are they doing down there?
Angel: they are making milk from almonds
God: what?! I gave them, like, 8 animals to get milk from
A: they dont like that milk
God: [mockingly] tHey DonT LiKe THat miLk *flips a table*