Lane

My mother always told me i'm the only one who has to think I’m funny. My pronoun is She, but I also go by Big Poppa.

[Lane @thefasttlane]

https://t.co/pO5BSTZptR

[Lane @thefasttlane]

My dad just told me he’s team Dean- looking into the emancipation process now.

[Lane @thefasttlane]

@Stickerson_ What if you’re just a little stitious?

[Lane @thefasttlane]

My father giving, “why don’t you just call Taylor up”

[Lane @thefasttlane]

Just got a DM that said, “I would love to be your arm rest” and that’s what we call a self aware short king.

[Lane @thefasttlane]

Apparently I’m in a silly goofy mood bc I’m actively arguing with 6 different people via text rn.

[Lane @thefasttlane]

Me scrolling through my 2022 top songs: wow this is an incredible playlist

[Lane @thefasttlane]

My dog, Fergus, is in his villain era.

[trash jones @jzux]

happy national boyfriend day to all my cashiers at trader joe’s

[Lane @thefasttlane]

@Stickerson_ @CrimeInNYC @m0gr4ce Lol that was my lacrosse nickname

[Lane @thefasttlane]

Hozier has music coming out someone call my therapist.

[Lane @thefasttlane]

“Im feeling sad, can you play linkin park?” -me to this bartender if I didn’t have anxiety

[Lane @thefasttlane]

You can feel the lack of Harry Styles presence in New York right now.

[Lane @thefasttlane]

I wish i was always the version of me who keeps booking 6 am flights. I miss that optimistic bitch

[Lane @thefasttlane]

Me, an alpha, not using the handles on the plane train to assert my dominance. Me, a beta, thinking the germs are yucky so I’d rather fall.

[Lane @thefasttlane]

I’ve read like four tweets today about adults bragging about being “gifted children”. Is this something I should have been bragging about? Because I’ll start rn

[Lane @thefasttlane]

Ooooh and that one time they said they wanted to be someone’s sweater so they could watch them undress. Big peeping Tom vibes.

[Lane @thefasttlane]

Remember when the Avett brothers said, “your life doesn’t change by the man that’s elected” and then 50% of lives changed by the man who was elected.