Funny Fancy

i work in an office where i can’t say what I am thinking. this is where i can say those things and not get fired.

[Funny Fancy @thefunnyfancy]

I am I have a favorite stall in the bathroom at work and am genuinely disappointed when it’s taken years old.

[Funny Fancy @thefunnyfancy]

@brendonurie I’m late to the game but your music is awesome! I’ll be the old lady dancing at your show in Dallas... cause dancing’s not a crime. #PATD #PANICATTHEDISCO #DANCING #ALLCAPS

[Funny Fancy @thefunnyfancy]

Why is a 30 hour #HarryPotter marathon on the couch completely reasonable but a 4 hour plane ride in coach is the worst thing to happen to a person? #nyctodallas #americanair #airtravel

[Funny Fancy @thefunnyfancy]

I play this game where I shut the tv off and then try to navagate putting the Apple TV to sleep by memory. I’m really good at it, I guess you could say things are going pretty good. #athirty #alittlesad #newchallenges

[Funny Fancy @thefunnyfancy]

If the consistency of body wash is important to your overall day, you might be a thirty. #thirty #athirty #old

[Funny Fancy @thefunnyfancy]

That party on Sunday with all the food was awesome! #food #superbowl #football

[Funny Fancy @thefunnyfancy]

My husband gets dressed socks first, then shirt, nothing on the bottom. Today, I finally ask him what the deal with getting dressed is. He answers with ‘I’m a strong, independent man.’

[Funny Fancy @thefunnyfancy]

All the sweatshirts of the world at the soft layering convention - ok, so we all agree that each and every one of us will be short and no longer offer the lazy versatility to cover. Success! #iblamehm #longer #thatswhatshesaid

[Funny Fancy @thefunnyfancy]

Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary

[Funny Fancy @thefunnyfancy]

Am I the only one who is married to a child who wants me to sit and watch the video game he is playing? #30goingon13 #marriedlifeisweird #videogames #notsofunanymore

[Funny Fancy @thefunnyfancy]

I just want to look as good as my retouched photos. White teeth, clear skin, sleek hair, single chin, no love handles, 50 pounds lighter, that’s all.

[Funny Fancy @thefunnyfancy]

Wife-Talk dirty to me
Hubs-When I took my socks off, I put them in the hamper. I only used one cup today. I didn’t eat your low calorie ice cream before bed. #marriage #sad #truth

[Funny Fancy @thefunnyfancy]

Can we get some legislation that forbits the manufacturing of clothes with tags sewn into the structure of the garment? I’m looking at you @hm #pleasestop

[Funny Fancy @thefunnyfancy]

Can we just have 1 day where no one talks about politics, terrible things or the cost of iPhonex & we all just say movie & tv quotes?

[Funny Fancy @thefunnyfancy]

Why does @ConanOBrien have a weird, little sidekick... is it a Peter Pan/Tinkerbell kind of thing??? #confused #ButTheyAreCute

[Funny Fancy @thefunnyfancy]

Ben Zobrist’s wife is proof that some girls like to put personality first. (I’m sure it’s not the money.)

[Funny Fancy @thefunnyfancy]

I overheard a child on the street today ask his mother, “will you miss me when your dead?” I wished with all my might that she had said no.

[Funny Fancy @thefunnyfancy]

Student loans follow you longer than herpes! #therealstd #thinksmart #avoidcollege

[Funny Fancy @thefunnyfancy]

Me-laughs at a @target meme and reads to husband
Husband-Woman don't know what not to buy at target #hesnotwrong #target

[Funny Fancy @thefunnyfancy]

Let's have a moment of silence for all the lost orgasms because of dead batteries. 😶😶😶 #ladyproblems #byhand #dead