Iโm big on having deep conversations. I wanna know whatโs on your mind. Tell me what can be fixed, what needs to be worked on, and how we can work through it together.
I still have the voice note.
I donโt play it often because every time I do, it feels like opening a door that shouldโve stayed closed.
It was sent at 11:47 PM on a Tuesday.
โBro, remind me tomorrowโฆ I finally figured everything out.โ
That was it.
No explanation. No context.
Just those eight words.
The next morning I woke up to twenty-three missed calls.
He had been in a car accident a few hours after sending that message.
People always imagine grief as crying.
For me, it looked different.
It looked like opening our old chats every night hoping another message would somehow appear.
It looked like keeping his number saved because deleting it felt like admitting he was really gone.
It looked like sitting in my parked car after work because driving home meant another evening without hearing him complain about his boss or laugh at my terrible jokes.
I'm sure sex is great, but have you ever gotten stoned and eaten a burrito alone in your underwear and dozed off in the middle of it and then been startled awake by a loud sound on TV and so resumed eating your burrito, unsure of how many munites or hours or even days had passed.
Marijuana psychosis is very much a thing and Iโve seen in a LOT of my high school graduate classโฆ & majority of them were the popular/most attractive kids. Now theyโreโฆ. Lost. & weird.
Itโs a thing.
One month ago today I started a savings account with only $27. After years of financial abuse at the hands of my kids father and growing up poor because parents were horrible with money, I finally started a savings account with just my name on it, no one can control it. Today I have $199 in it. Still not a huge amount but itโs a big deal for me...
My takeaway from the movie:
- Burnout is real.
- Donโt repress your shadow. Integrate it.
- You donโt have to do it alone. You need a community around you.
- Puberty is a bitch, no matter what age it hits you.
- Seriously, burnout. Watch out for the signs.
My recording interface died right before I finished my album repair quote was $350, cash I didnโt have. A producer friend heard my problem and offered: โTrade me that topโshelf ounce you got for my old pro gear?โ That ounce cost me $45, but the gear saved my whole project. I finished the tracks, released my music, and still had plenty left to enjoy.