Jason

I know everything about you and I still love you.

[Jason @thejadetheman]

I wonder if my shitty car makes the block look bad.

[Jason @thejadetheman]

@eluhrmann The glass is too big.

[Jason @thejadetheman]

@eluhrmann You've got a Kshatriya brain with a Dalit mindset.

[Jason @thejadetheman]

If you're going to high school in India, who do you cheat off of? Anyone? No one? Yourself? The mind boggles. Think of how long the spelling bees must take.

[Jason @thejadetheman]

Fuck firefighters. Who gives a shit, you know?

[Jason @thejadetheman]

"Death is so great, you really oughta save it for last." - George Carlin

[Jason @thejadetheman]

If you're thinking about reaching for the stars, I'd say shoot for the moon first and see how that goes.

[Jason @thejadetheman]

I only fuck girls on their 18th birthday. I'm one of the good guys.

[Jason @thejadetheman]

I've never gotten the impression that my dog respects me as an artist. It inhibits my ability to love.

[Jason @thejadetheman]

I've noticed there aren't any vegetables at breakfast. Nobody's putting up with that bullshit first thing in the morning.

[Jason @thejadetheman]

It's funny when you fuck a girl and one of her hairs somehow gets wrapped around your balls and shit.

[Jason @thejadetheman]

I don't think it's ethical to teach kids about child molestation until they're old enough to no longer enjoy it.

[Jason @thejadetheman]

If had a nickel for every time I got my ass fucked in the 80's then I'd still be shitting out dicks today. Plus I'd be rich from all the nickels.

[Jason @thejadetheman]

A lot of people know that women attempt suicide much more than men do, but men successful achieve suicide much more than women do. So women, if you're going to attempt suicide, don't be afraid to ask a man for help. This is no time for gender pride.

[Jason @thejadetheman]

Whitey tighty, lefty hefty.

[Jason @thejadetheman]

@eluhrmann I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even drink some of it while I'm cooking.

[Jason @thejadetheman]

What about a baby onesie that says, "Consenting Adult"?

[Merriam-Webster @MerriamWebster]

‘Booty’ and ‘butt’ are synonyms.

‘Call’ and ‘dial’ are synonyms.

But, a ‘booty call’ and a ‘butt dial’ are VERY different things.

[Jason @thejadetheman]

You know you're bisexual when you bend over and see three balls.