Neil Berliner

Joke writer to the stars...and future stars.

[Neil Berliner @thejokewriter]

Catch my comedy film “Comedian President” starring Jason Scoop and Madison Malloy on Jason’s YouTube channel! Twenty-four minutes of the best comedian and politician impressions you’ll EVER see! https://t.co/9pvHXCbZuG

[George Santos @Georgesantos]

I’m not ruling it out!

[Neil Berliner @thejokewriter]

I’m in a band. The Beatless. https://t.co/ESbpsH8OU7

[Neil Berliner @thejokewriter]

I’ve done stand up in three states: depressed, very depressed, and New Jersey. https://t.co/qpKOu4WScP

[Neil Berliner @thejokewriter]

How come when I front money for a project they call me a backer? https://t.co/tnaE9eNn8e

[Neil Berliner @thejokewriter]

https://t.co/keID6rCFuY

[Neil Berliner @thejokewriter]

@ThomasBrice2017 @RMorosca Thank you! #1 new joke book on Amazon two weeks ago. 366 history jokes, for each day of the year, on sports, politics, entertainment, tech.

[Neil Berliner @thejokewriter]

Sports https://t.co/ztU7qF5KdB

[Neil Berliner @thejokewriter]

You’re entitled to my opinion. https://t.co/cHpK5GJYUK

[Neil Berliner @thejokewriter]

January 31st https://t.co/gfuSQcGvIM

[Neil Berliner @thejokewriter]

I’m the lightest I’ve been in a year… 154 down from 177. To the comedy world, I’ve always been a lightweight! https://t.co/Uu45W5eIqY

[Neil Berliner @thejokewriter]

My punch lines use the element of surprise. Like, “Surprise, Neil! Nobody’s laughing!” https://t.co/SVZoqNRkP3

[Neil Berliner @thejokewriter]

While I play my guitar, the AUDIENCE gently weeps! https://t.co/OPJQiOrcGF

[Neil Berliner @thejokewriter]

I want TV commercials that use real actors, not people. https://t.co/LKlKABv5Sb

[Neil Berliner @thejokewriter]

Jobs… https://t.co/XubLhqq0KR

[Neil Berliner @thejokewriter]

I’m so bored, I’m hoping that Jehovah’s Witnesses knock on my door so we can discuss their pamphlets. https://t.co/2UUIh9obAm

[Neil Berliner @thejokewriter]

We just cracked Kindle's Top 100 for joke books! https://t.co/0SOozlAlEh

[Neil Berliner @thejokewriter]

I suffer from “A fib”. In layman’s terms, I told a lie. https://t.co/k5YsPODqtn

[Neil Berliner @thejokewriter]

I stole one of your jokes. Petty larceny. https://t.co/DxXeAJn7pk

[Neil Berliner @thejokewriter]

My favorite director is M. Night Shameonhim. My second favorite actor is Edward James Almost. https://t.co/0R9pNHygsn