Jon Asher

Not here for a good time, here for a long time. I'm immortal. Please kill me

[Jon Asher @TheJonAsher]

@LUVBlTE Asmr fingering

[Jon Asher @TheJonAsher]

Never sat right with me when people say they're doing something to "take the edge off." Do you know anything about erosion? You're just creating a new edge. A closer one, too. Your world is shrinking. Go to therapy

[Jon Asher @TheJonAsher]

I wanna open up a pizza shop that only does square pies in round boxes. I promise the pizza's not gonna be good. The boxes will blow your mind though

[Jon Asher @TheJonAsher]

This honestly feels like the first decade that takes after the Super Mario structure of things. This is just year 2020-4

[Jon Asher @TheJonAsher]

@HowardFLederer happen to be rewatching 2005 WOSP tosay...did you end up with the Dolly lighter?

[Jon Asher @TheJonAsher]

You think after the first Himalayan salt miners head lamps hit the rocks they were just like "ooooh. Vibes."

[Jon Asher @TheJonAsher]

[In a world where history repeats itself]

"What do you wanna call the thing?"

"I dunno. Titan?"

"I see."

[Jon Asher @TheJonAsher]

@galaxyofmoses Am dating/living with an autistic partner. We both are. That would be the dream. This is difficult

[Jon Asher @TheJonAsher]

@galaxyofmoses You should hear Walts family talk about him being an anti semite

[Jon Asher @TheJonAsher]

@Metallica What an unfortunate filter people look at this album through. Almost every song is great. Unnamed Feeling doesn't get enough love

[Jon Asher @TheJonAsher]

@marcmaron @netflix Super excited to watch

[Jon Asher @TheJonAsher]

@qotsa Can I get a photo pass for NY in Aug?

[Jon Asher @TheJonAsher]

@maggiebea666 Ketchup shouldn't even go in mouths

[Jon Asher @TheJonAsher]

Google is totally on board until you get to, "how do you hang yours"

[Jon Asher @TheJonAsher]

You ever think Magritte yelled "this is not a drill," during a fire and everyone just rolled their eyes and said "find a new gimmick?" Then perished a painful merciless death?

[Jon Asher @TheJonAsher]

@DavePaoletti @MarkDuaneMorton Always this one

[Jon Asher @TheJonAsher]

Describe the USA in 11 words

[Jon Asher @TheJonAsher]

A while ago there was that viral question of "are there more doors or wheels in the world," but, I wanna know, do you think there's more guns or foods containing peanuts in schools?

[Jon Asher @TheJonAsher]

So weird we're gonna get rid of schools before guns

[Jon Asher @TheJonAsher]

Inside me, there are two wolves? I don't think so. I can tell you there's definitely two pizzas inside me.