Oliver Dawson

Oliver Dawson just happens to have more shoes than Imelda Marcos! He also acts whilst wearing shoes (multi-tasker), coz he's an actor with feet!

[Oliver Dawson @thekingofcomedy]

So you know when you had an idea for a story and start so well but then you get confused with the plot twist you’ve been dying to put in, then you forget the original idea? So you use pictures to try and save it? That was #BorisSpeech yesterday. #greatbritishmemes

[Oliver Dawson @thekingofcomedy]

Oh it’s been a long while twitter, but Boris has confused me so much, I’ve had to return to the hive for clarification #Covid19UK #stayalert but don’t #stayhome?

[Oliver Dawson @thekingofcomedy]

@TroikaTalent Oi, @Oliver_Actor look into this! You could work at the agents' you've always wanted to be with!

[Oliver Dawson @thekingofcomedy]

Where are these #SNL actors these days? I mean, who's heard of @BillMurray?

Said no one! https://t.co/BwpyjPClis

[Oliver Dawson @thekingofcomedy]

Max you d**k, so you were going to kill yourself but then, when your daughter is braindead you won't let her die with dignity. Still it's not like she fell off the roof because of you. Oh wait! #EastEnders

[Oliver Dawson @thekingofcomedy]

So, the one question on everyone's mind.... was the money buried or cremated Billy? #EastEnders goes from haphazard and clumsy to pure farce!

[Oliver Dawson @thekingofcomedy]

The real reason #EastEnders is shit right now, to distract us from this unreported news.... https://t.co/eTt3cVXlV8

[George Eaton @georgeeaton]

A stunning and grim stat: the UK is forecast to have the worst wage performance of the 32 OECD countries this year (via @The_TUC).

[Oliver Dawson @thekingofcomedy]

Seriously #Emmerdale and #EastEnders, it's 2018, cybercrime is where it's at, no one runs around with guns and balaclavas these days! Next #Corrie will have a storyline robbing a train, getting away in Minis and sailing to a secret island!

[Oliver Dawson @thekingofcomedy]

@DuncanLindsay @dollyjoyner You need to visit Abi more often @dollyjoyner, Max just decided to switch off the life support and the sun set and rose again at least 50 times in this episode! I'm presuming is Valentine's Day already in Walford!

[Oliver Dawson @thekingofcomedy]

Maybe the plan for #EastEnders this year is to be so shockingly bad, that when #brexit actually bankrupts the country and hyperinflation kills off everything but suitcase sized bundles of £50 notes, we'll be so numbed by crap tele, we won't realise real life is really that shit!

[Oliver Dawson @thekingofcomedy]

@007claw @bbceastenders Even if a hundred thousand people did your survey, you're still getting exactly the same result @bbceastenders @007claw

[Oliver Dawson @thekingofcomedy]

Maybe the plan for #EastEnders this year is to start so, so, so v low, that even when it's crap, at any point this year, the writers will say, but it's not as bad as that #hourlongspecial, then look at a picture of a white transit van and reminisce about the high point of 2018!

[Oliver Dawson @thekingofcomedy]

@JamesBird22 So true, this episode is painful!

[Oliver Dawson @thekingofcomedy]

"Making us out to some sort of gangsters!"

Yeah, Poundland gangsters, I'd only get involved if it was at least £100k! Who rolls over an armed van for £10k

#EastEnders is really on a budget!

[Oliver Dawson @thekingofcomedy]

@xAliEmx I reckon it's got to be Cat and Alfie, they went to Ireland! Or Barry, #whynot

[Oliver Dawson @thekingofcomedy]

Aidan: I forgot how beautiful you look when you're angry. That new woman: but I'm not angry at all, in fact, I've not emoted at all in this whole #hourlongspecial #EastEnders

[Oliver Dawson @thekingofcomedy]

Oh yeah, where the hell is Billy? Is he still reversing that hearse? It's been 40 hours according to Mick!#EastEnders

[Oliver Dawson @thekingofcomedy]

@LJay815 And who gave her her third line in 18 years?

[Oliver Dawson @thekingofcomedy]

#guesswhosback in #EastEnders!

[Oliver Dawson @thekingofcomedy]

The only thing to die in #EastEnders tonight, is everyone's careers, this is a joke! Mick wish he died, Abi's lucky to of escaped!