payton kooi.

laughs at his own jokes. all of them.

[payton kooi. @thekooifish]

Literally just saw a guy on a riding lawnmower in traffic while driving through LA, dude you’re a block away from Cesar Chavez, not some midwestern suburb street

[Jamie Bonkiewicz @JamieBonkiewicz]

If you’re furious about Mamdani attending a 9/11 memorial but perfectly fine with Trump lying about being rescued from the rubble at Ground Zero. Congratulations, you’re in a cult.

[payton kooi. @thekooifish]

@GreenfieldMax18 Do you think he’s a $700M man as per furry HoFer Joey Votto?

[Josh Hart @joshhart]

Schlitty is so cold

[New York Yankees @Yankees]

Tonight's outing marked Cam Schlittler's @MLB-leading and franchise-record 20th start of the season allowing 1 run-or-fewer ⛽️

#RepBX

[payton kooi. @thekooifish]

Ben Rice with his… first of the season???

[payton kooi. @thekooifish]

Much better than last night, see ya again tomorrow

[payton kooi. @thekooifish]

Game two, let’s roll

[payton kooi. @thekooifish]

This shit was brutal

[payton kooi. @thekooifish]

Game 1 of 3 vs the Angels–west coast fans, check in

[payton kooi. @thekooifish]

Are you telling me he used to be the “5th beatle” and now he writes books that HBO turns into poorly-ended TV shows??

[New York Yankees @Yankees]

STATEMENT FROM THE NEW YORK YANKEES:

“The New York Yankees mourn the passing of Tommy John, who was a bedrock of our rotation during his time in pinstripes and a longtime favorite of Yankees fans. While his incredible longevity and post-surgery achievements changed the fortunes and trajectory of countless athletes around the world, it also overshadowed his excellence as a pitcher, which included consecutive 20‑win seasons with the Yankees. We pause to remember the totality of his legacy — his competitiveness and skill, his penchant for conversation, his kind and gracious nature, and his stature as an athletic and medical pioneer. The Yankees extend our deepest condolences to his family and friends, including wife, Cheryl, daughter, Tamara, and sons Tommy III and Travis. We also keep his son Taylor in our hearts.”

[New York Yankees @Yankees]

Headed for the record books 🔥

@BrentHeadrick's 51 scoreless relief outings marks the most scoreless relief appearances by a Yankees pitcher through the club's first 119 games of a season 👏

[Talkin' Yanks @TalkinYanks]

George Lombard Jr.

[Drew Harwell @drewharwell]

A police chief in Georgia used Flock's cameras to track his ex-girlfriend and her teen daughter nearly 600 times. “Don’t worry I’m not tracking you or some weird stalker shit," he texted her. After his arrest, he committed suicide.

He's one of 50 cops we found misusing Flock: 🧵

[Alex Cole @acnewsitics]

If this happened to a Democrat, Fox News would be calling it the biggest corruption story of the decade.

[Fuck You I Quit @fuckyouiquit]

Fun fact: Mitch McConnell has voted against practically every federal paid leave bill in existence

[New York Yankees @Yankees]

Gerrit Cole. Game 1.
Max Fried. Game 2.
See you at The Stadium tomorrow.

[payton kooi. @thekooifish]

Actually, with avg pitches per plate appearance hovering around 3.9-4, and strikes making up 62% of pitches seen on avg, it’s way worse than failing 60% or 70% of the time. But we’re not ready for that conversation yet.

[JJ Cooper @jjcoop36]

You often hear that in baseball that even the best hitters fail 7 out of 10 times.

No they don't.

The best hitters fail 6 out of 10 times. If you have a .300 OBP I promise you are not among the best hitters in baseball.

[𝕷𝖚𝖈𝖎𝖋𝖊𝖗 @LucifersTweetz]

There goes the separation of church and state.

[Spencer Hakimian @SpencerHakimian]

We’re about to spend $300,000,000,000 rebuilding Iran after spending $80,000,000,000 destroying it, while telling Americans on Medicaid to take a hike.

America First.