The Lazy Solution

[The Lazy Solution @thelazysolution]

1. time outs
2. nap time
3. going to bed early

- Childhood threats
- Parenthood dreams

[The Lazy Solution @thelazysolution]

People in Michigan:

The only reason I’m sad winter is over is because I can’t keep my groceries cold in the car all day anymore.

[The Lazy Solution @thelazysolution]

Things I text my best friend:
https://t.co/u6skkDWb92 epic mom fails
2.Funny things my kids do
https://t.co/kR2q4yPBVK when I actually do my hair
4.When I have a good poop
5.Wordle

[The Lazy Solution @thelazysolution]

My husband and I just had an in depth conversation about how to get the stain out of his shirt….THIS IS 12 YEARS OF MARRIAGE….one minute we’re planning our honeymoon and the next we’re chatting about treating stains…

[The Lazy Solution @thelazysolution]

You know you’re in your 30’s when you throw your shoulder out trying to quickly towel dry your back after your shower.

[The Lazy Solution @thelazysolution]

If I have coffee after 4 pm I will be awake until Sunday.

[The Lazy Solution @thelazysolution]

The baby fell asleep for 4 minutes in the car so, ya know, that cancels out her normal 2.5 hour nap 🙄

[The Lazy Solution @thelazysolution]

There is always sand on my floor! Winter and 32°: sand, summer and 75°: sand. Doesn’t matter what time of year it is, there will always be sand.

[The Lazy Solution @thelazysolution]

My kids have not touched me or said my name in 30 minutes. I’m hoping if I don’t move they won’t remember I am still here.

[The Lazy Solution @thelazysolution]

Welcome to adulthood. You get excited about baskets now.

[The Lazy Solution @thelazysolution]

I find myself driving around comparing people’s grass colors and having envy if they are super green. THIS IS ADULTHOOD.

[The Lazy Solution @thelazysolution]

Something I never understood that my mom did: never dry her hands and pick up things with her wet hands. As a mom now I understand why. There’s no time and everything is always wet anyway.

[The Lazy Solution @thelazysolution]

I just ran out of my shampoo, conditioner, soap, deodorant, AND toothpaste all in the same day. I don’t think that’s happened in the history of womenkind ever.

[The Lazy Solution @thelazysolution]

Mom life: when you make coffee, then forget your coffee, reheat your coffee, then forget your coffee again because you need your coffee to remember your coffee.

[The Lazy Solution @thelazysolution]

Now that I’m in my 30s and a mom my dreams are so boring. Last night I dreamt about changing diapers and getting dressed. Maybe that why old people get up so early, “I’m bored, time to get up!”

[The Lazy Solution @thelazysolution]

You know the crazy crawling tiptoe maneuver you do to get out of your kid’s room when they’re falling asleep? Well my rickety body is giving me away with all the creaks and cracks of my joints as I simply try to get off the floor.

[The Lazy Solution @thelazysolution]

Do you ever get so much done in one day you think, “I did enough for this week” and then chaos ensues.

[The Lazy Solution @thelazysolution]

Question: does the diaper cream under your nails ever go away or do you just have to grow them out?

[The Lazy Solution @thelazysolution]

Anyone else load the dishwasher to its max then right before you’re about to run it, fit at LEAST 16 more dishes in there somehow?

[The Lazy Solution @thelazysolution]

You never realize how loud ordinary things are until you have a baby.