ImDirtyDan

FUCK THE GOVERNMENT & ACAB

[ImDirtyDan @thelilgnocchi]

If I killed the cringe part of me, I wouldn’t be funny anymore

[ImDirtyDan @thelilgnocchi]

Sandy Jackpot Game
Can you do me a favor? Click to accept my invitation in the SHEIN app, and win up to $300💵 for each of us!!
https://t.co/fNpah3QkL8

[ImDirtyDan @thelilgnocchi]

Win up to 300 Wallet Credits!
Please accept my invitation so that I can earn 300 Wallet Credits!
https://t.co/VFzsKgT4nB

[☔ @Whotfismick]

when you finally text everyone back but they respond right away

[ImDirtyDan @thelilgnocchi]

Me: *existing*
Customer: I don’t know what the fuck her problem is but fuck her

[ImDirtyDan @thelilgnocchi]

Petition for @Crunchyroll to get The Eminence in Shadow

[ImDirtyDan @thelilgnocchi]

Could never be jealous of a bitch who has to suck dick just to pay their bills👋🏼

[ImDirtyDan @thelilgnocchi]

Bitch got humbled

[✰ @koi_takleef]

Oh yes

[ImDirtyDan @thelilgnocchi]

Gotta love it when “women” act like they’re still in high school. Babe I’m 5 years away from being 30, I don’t care

[ImDirtyDan @thelilgnocchi]

Kids are cruel man. Son just chucked plastic toy magnets at me because the rocket he built fell apart. Cried then he cried and won’t apologize

[ImDirtyDan @thelilgnocchi]

I’m so sick of this fucking snow

[Braindead Bird App @tragicbirdapp]

welp

[ImDirtyDan @thelilgnocchi]

They look the same lmao

[Pop Crave @PopCrave]

Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn’s breakup was “amicable” and happened a few weeks ago, @etnow reports:

“It was not dramatic. The relationship had just run its course. It's why [Alwyn] hasn't been spotted at any shows."

🔗: https://t.co/GtuwhpAsZt

[ImDirtyDan @thelilgnocchi]

“Do you have happy hour today?” Well I gave the happy hour menu and it’s sitting in front of your stupid fucking face. You tell me

[ImDirtyDan @thelilgnocchi]

I honestly think @russdiemon would make a good coach on @TheVoice_TF1

[ImDirtyDan @thelilgnocchi]

How is a pb&j weird compared to that

[ImDirtyDan @thelilgnocchi]

Allie would be 25 this year ☹️

[ImDirtyDan @thelilgnocchi]

The amount of times I’ve told customers I don’t get paid enough to care is hilarious

[ImDirtyDan @thelilgnocchi]

@pandaflo_ @lilbass_bruja It’s chicken

[PYPER🍒 @pyperxox]

Me staring at my man while he's just sitting there