Lisa Pants

Zero. Fucks.

[Lisa Pants @thelisapants]

#smokefree #nonsmoker

[Lisa Pants @thelisapants]

Happy 13th birthday to my beautiful teenager, Cali June. Featuring a Jillian photo bomb.🙄

#calijune #pbjb #dogmom #catmom

[Lisa Pants @thelisapants]

I am now campaigning for @paulrust to start a true crime podcast. @gourleyandrust episode today mentioning Jon Benet?! Yes please.

[Lisa Pants @thelisapants]

FML this is the best tweet I’ve ever seen @JoeyB

[sreeky @sreekyshooter]

of course Joe Burrow threw a TD on his first play after listening to Lose Yourself

[Lisa Pants @thelisapants]

Okay was it just me or was Kendrick Lamar styled to look exactly like R. Kelly?
Pretty much nothing offends me, but that made me really uncomfortable.
#HalfTimeShow

[Lisa Pants @thelisapants]

There is a girl next to us who ordered Super Charged and I’m trying so hard not to stare at her while she’s eating 🤣 https://t.co/QM2IkonInl

[Lisa Pants @thelisapants]

“Are you kidding me? If my parents told me I needed to poop in the basement instead of pooping outside?! Best parents EVER!”

[Richard Staff @RichardStaff]

Congratulations to Jimmy Garoppolo on replacing Dr Fauci as Aaron Rodgers’ least favorite Italian

[Lisa Pants @thelisapants]

Sunday funday impromptu project. Before and after.
I love my life y'all. https://t.co/aQkmjYgL8g

[Lisa Pants @thelisapants]

Whyyyy did I never know there's a little baby @paulrust on Parks and Rec?!

[Lisa Pants @thelisapants]

That feeling when you tipsy email your favorite podcast... #withgourleyandrust

[Lisa Pants @thelisapants]

New toilet paper dispensers at Best Buy are the epitome of class.

[Lisa Pants @thelisapants]

This is the greatest sports bar experience of my life. #letsgobuffalo

[Lisa Pants @thelisapants]

@amazon I don't know why you think I need this. But. You're correct.

[Big Bird @BigBird]

I got the COVID-19 vaccine today! My wing is feeling a little sore, but it'll give my body an extra protective boost that keeps me and others healthy.

Ms. @EricaRHill even said I’ve been getting vaccines since I was a little bird. I had no idea!

[Lisa Pants @thelisapants]

@jacksonpublick Omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg

[Lisa Pants @thelisapants]

@SalVulcano Get the fuck out of here with Honey Nut Cheerios. You fucking grandmas.