Lorne Lee Verkins

Never has a twitter name been more true or more accurate...

[Lorne Lee Verkins @thelonelyvirgin]

Is sexy the new sexy again? Or is strong still the new sexy? Ugh. I miss the good old days when there was just one sexy. 😥

[Lorne Lee Verkins @thelonelyvirgin]

I’m a big believer in daily CBD use: Compassion, Boldness, Diversity.

[Lorne Lee Verkins @thelonelyvirgin]

Happy Monday? More like Crappy No-Fun-Day. 😥

[Lorne Lee Verkins @thelonelyvirgin]

I'm with her(pes). 😥

[Lorne Lee Verkins @thelonelyvirgin]

Fed Ex: Quickest way to describe that I served a meal to a girl that I used to date.

[Lorne Lee Verkins @thelonelyvirgin]

Lookout mountain...good if it's on a sign you see while hiking, bad if your copilot shouts it while you're flying at low altitude in clouds.

[Lorne Lee Verkins @thelonelyvirgin]

Knee high by the 4th of July...good if it's corn, bad if it's a rash that started on your ankle.

[Lorne Lee Verkins @thelonelyvirgin]

Though I may be poor in money, I am rich in rashes.

[Lorne Lee Verkins @thelonelyvirgin]

Geez...what, is today "National Ex-Wives Demanding Their Last 14 Months Of Child Support Day"?!?!

[Lorne Lee Verkins @thelonelyvirgin]

Just used the restroom. WMAO.

[Lorne Lee Verkins @thelonelyvirgin]

I'm turned off whenever I see someone bite their reading glasses, so as you can imagine, sexy librarians can be pretty confusing for me.

[Lorne Lee Verkins @thelonelyvirgin]

Two circus P.R. guys are talking after the Tilt-A-Whirl breaks, killing 12. Guy 1: How can we spin this? Guy 2: Too soon, man.

[Lorne Lee Verkins @thelonelyvirgin]

I call no more emailing death threats. You should have to do it on parchment, using your own blood as ink, for it to count.

[Lorne Lee Verkins @thelonelyvirgin]

I realize that as the head of this human centipede I have little right to complain about anything, but I could really go for a Snickers.

[Lorne Lee Verkins @thelonelyvirgin]

I'm about to get my annual flu shot. But don't worry! I already had autism when I was younger, so I can't get it again.

[Lorne Lee Verkins @thelonelyvirgin]

Is it just me, or are the bloopers at the end of "Schindler's List" a little out of place?

[Lorne Lee Verkins @thelonelyvirgin]

The Four Seasons hotel in San Diego is actually called The One Season.

[Lorne Lee Verkins @thelonelyvirgin]

If no man is an island, then how do you explain the Isle of Man?

[Lorne Lee Verkins @thelonelyvirgin]

Just found out that my patronus is a homeless man pooping in a paper bag. Thanks, but I think I'll just take my chances with the dementors.

[Lorne Lee Verkins @thelonelyvirgin]

I'm so excited about the new Arrested Development, I feel like I've got butterflies in my stomach! But it's probably the tapeworm.