the magnus archives bot

all right, hit me with your x-ray eyes then, boss [run by @meIanieking & @ichiryuukenji] (spoiler warning, obviously)

[the magnus archives bot @themagnusbot]

👁 welcome to the magnus bot! 👁
-- an unofficial bot for rusty quill's "the magnus archives"
-- tweets quotes from tma (incl. q&as + bloopers) every hour!
-- run by @meIanieking & @ichiryuukenji
-- this is a wip! please feel free to dm us with suggestions 💚

[the magnus archives bot @themagnusbot]

(AND IT SOUNDS LIKE HE’S EMBRACING HIM)

[the magnus archives bot @themagnusbot]

Elias? Oh, god…

[the magnus archives bot @themagnusbot]

For god’s sake, can he not stay safe for like, like ten minutes?

[the magnus archives bot @themagnusbot]

If I never hear the name Jurgen Leitner again it will be too soon.

[the magnus archives bot @themagnusbot]

And that would have been it. Given what happened next, I don’t think I would ever have seen Michael Crew again, if it wasn’t for the simple fact that his cheque bounced.

[the magnus archives bot @themagnusbot]

So my proposal for you is this: either kill me or fuck off.

[the magnus archives bot @themagnusbot]

I have a small jar on my desk of what are supposed to be her ashes, though I don’t believe it for a second. I think Martin just gave me a jar of dust to try and calm me down.

[the magnus archives bot @themagnusbot]

“Gertrude didn’t think so.”
“Right.”
“But she’s dead. Let’s find out for ourselves.”

[the magnus archives bot @themagnusbot]

“You’re really pushing it, you know that?”
(audible self-satisfied smirk) “Hm. Feel free to push back. But until then, get out of my Archives.”

[the magnus archives bot @themagnusbot]

Statement of, uh, Lorell St. John regarding, uh… zombies.

[the magnus archives bot @themagnusbot]

At the end of all this, we’ve still been unable to answer one question: where was he getting the meat?

[the magnus archives bot @themagnusbot]

But I didn’t come here to talk about the benefits and problems of working in waste collection.

[the magnus archives bot @themagnusbot]

“Tim, this place is very old. It has all sorts of… idiosyncrasies and not all of them are good for the people who work here.”
“I think I’d prefer asbestos.”

[the magnus archives bot @themagnusbot]

“You, uh, I think you threw a guy off a skyscraper in Paris.”
“Hmm. Last chance for that cup of tea.”

[the magnus archives bot @themagnusbot]

Uh, sorry to interrupt, er, JJon’s here! And he’s— well he’s— He seems— He seems angry. Um, (splutters) I actually think he’s brought a coup—

[the magnus archives bot @themagnusbot]

“(gasp) Don’t move! And, don’t you come any closer, okay?! I’ve got a, I’ve got a knife!”
“Do you? That would seem wildly out-of-character, from what I’ve been told.”

[the magnus archives bot @themagnusbot]

I believe it was not merely on that day, but at that very moment, when Wilfred fell, that the peace was finally assured.

[the magnus archives bot @themagnusbot]

“Eyes peeled.”
“Was that a joke?”
“Yeah.”

[the magnus archives bot @themagnusbot]

“So I got out of the spiral, and went to dinner.”
(BAFFLED VOCALISATIONS)

[the magnus archives bot @themagnusbot]

I just received another text message. From you. “Keep him. We have had our fun. He will want to see it when the Archivist’s crimson fate arrives.”