MATT BANKS

Comedian, complete idiot & stone cold national treasure.

[MATT BANKS @themattbanks]

@swyft_home Emailed you 4 times, just gets ignored. Can you DM me your MD’s email address please?

[Dan White @Thebeastmustdie]

You know what they should do? They should take all the racists, and put them all on an island and...oh...wait

[Darren Walsh Puns @DarrenWalshPuns]

Q) How many conspiracy theorists does it take to change a lightbulb?

A) Do your own research.

[Fraser Geesin @frasergeesin]

Brand new Cow and Horse! The writer is nearly three years old now and you can really see his writing maturing.

[Fraser Geesin @frasergeesin]

Me and the 2 year old have made another Cow And Horse.

[MATT BANKS @themattbanks]

@Thebeastmustdie Cook a lovely lobster

[MATT BANKS @themattbanks]

@bobsymindless A missed opportunity to watch Troll Hunter.

[MATT BANKS @themattbanks]

@frasergeesin @Thebeastmustdie I won the competition

[MATT BANKS @themattbanks]

@nicowen He looks like Phillip Schofield in a Columbo costume.

[MATT BANKS @themattbanks]

@flybe Aha thanks, usual high standard of service from Flybe then.

[MATT BANKS @themattbanks]

Your text and now an email say it’s delayed. The tracker link in your email says it’s on time. I’ve checked and it’s your legit email address. Can you let me know what’s going on?

[MATT BANKS @themattbanks]

Legends @flybe are really taking the fight to @Ryanair for being the shittest hunk of junk in the sky. A flawless victory.

[MATT BANKS @themattbanks]

@nicowen Do you want onion bread footlong or herb cheese footlong, no we don’t have toilets.

[Cold War Steve @coldwarsteve]

Pie Rolling II

[MATT BANKS @themattbanks]

@sageuk Having recently contacted Sage, I’m receiving Sage invoice emails from https://t.co/PdNHVadv2J is this a know scam?

[MATT BANKS @themattbanks]

A load of important anus work going on at the moment. Lots of work, get my anus to call your anus, set up a meeting, conference in an anus etc...
https://t.co/XXJ87XCbCC

[MATT BANKS @themattbanks]

The last Noel. #noeledmonds #loathead #averygoodedmonds

[MATT BANKS @themattbanks]

Come on Noel Headmonds, it’s your time to shine. #NoelEdmonds

[MATT BANKS @themattbanks]

@BRIANGITTINS1 Troll Hunter

[MATT BANKS @themattbanks]

@DarrenWalshPuns @bjork Absolutely no response from @bjork , forget it,this is going nowhere, I’m going to Norway. Been inundated with Norwegian tips, extremely helpful. Didn’t even ask.

[MATT BANKS @themattbanks]

@DarrenWalshPuns @bjork Hopeless