Crysthian Medina

Life was hard. Corporate and I broke up. I survived. Here I'm sharing "the how" in a digestible way... that became my life.

[Crysthian Medina @TheMindfulGrump]

The most capable people in any team are sometimes the ones most at risk of shame because they care most about the quality of what they produce.
The standard they hold themselves to makes the gap between attempt and outcome feel like something personal.
#Leadership

[Crysthian Medina @TheMindfulGrump]

The question that actually reaches shame at work is not about the work. It is about what the situation meant to the person. Not what happened. What it meant. That question reaches somewhere that no performance conversation can. More on LinkedIn and TikTok. ##Leadership

[Crysthian Medina @TheMindfulGrump]

The mistake becomes evidence. Not of what went wrong. Of what you were already afraid was true about yourself. And evidence needs to be hidden, not addressed. That is why shame produces silence more reliably than it produces change. #MentalHealth

[Crysthian Medina @TheMindfulGrump]

Do you know that feeling when you do something you regret and, instead of wanting to fix it, you just want no one to ever find out it was you? That is not guilt. That is something different. And it needs a different response. More on TikTok and IG. #MentalHealth

[Crysthian Medina @TheMindfulGrump]

Have you ever watched someone go quiet at work after a mistake and never quite come back to themselves? The mistake was small. The silence was not. Most organizations treat this as disengagement. It is rarely that. More on LinkedIn and TikTok. #Leadership

[Crysthian Medina @TheMindfulGrump]

Feeling ashamed is not a moral failing.
It is a brain and nervous system experience.
And because it is neurological, it responds to neurological approaches.

Not to being told you should not feel it. More on LinkedIn and TikTok this week. #Neuroscience

[Crysthian Medina @TheMindfulGrump]

When a mistake triggers shame rather than guilt, the instinct is not to repair.
It is to make sure nobody looks too closely.
Which is why more feedback does not help.

And why the performance conversation makes it worse.

#Leadership

[Crysthian Medina @TheMindfulGrump]

The feeling of shame when dating sometimes is not about rejection.
It is about the fear that the rejection would confirm your fears.

And that specific fear is what makes certain rejections hurt completely out of proportion to what actually happened.

#Dating

[Crysthian Medina @TheMindfulGrump]

The person who wants to disappear after a disagreement is not being dramatic.
They are someone whose brain read the situation as a threat to who they are, not just to what happened.

Understanding that may change your perception.
#Relationships

[Crysthian Medina @TheMindfulGrump]

Did it ever happen that after something slightly embarrassing on a date, you went quiet for the rest of the evening?

Not because of what happened.
Because of what you were afraid it said about you.

More on TikTok and IG. #Dating

[Crysthian Medina @TheMindfulGrump]

Did it ever happen that after an argument, one feeling made you want to apologize, and a completely different feeling made you want to go quiet for days? Those are not the same response to the same situation. More on TikTok and IG. #Relationships

[Crysthian Medina @TheMindfulGrump]

The feeling that makes you want to disappear is not the same as the feeling that makes you want to fix something. Naming the difference between them is the beginning of being able to do something useful with either one. More on TikTok and IG. #MentalHealth

[Crysthian Medina @TheMindfulGrump]

Shame does not arrive after every mistake. It arrives after the ones that feel like confirmation of something you were already afraid was true about yourself. That distinction explains a lot about why some mistakes stay with us, and others do not. #Leadership

[Crysthian Medina @TheMindfulGrump]

The urge to disappear after something goes wrong is not dramatic. It is the amygdala activating. The brain reads the situation as a threat. The body executes a protective response before the thinking brain has had a chance to evaluate. More on LinkedIn and TikTok. #Shame

[Crysthian Medina @TheMindfulGrump]

Shame and guilt feel similar from the outside. From the inside, they are completely different states. Guilt wants to repair. Shame wants to hide. And treating them as the same thing is one of the most common mistakes in how we respond to failure at work. #Shame #Leadership

[Crysthian Medina @TheMindfulGrump]

Did it ever happen that you made a mistake at work, knew exactly what to fix, and still could not shake the feeling that it said something about you that went beyond the mistake? That gap is worth understanding. More on LinkedIn and TikTok this week. #Shame #Neuroscience

[Crysthian Medina @TheMindfulGrump]

@anah_sahh There is not even "before" intelligence for humanity, let aside "super" or "coming after"

[Crysthian Medina @TheMindfulGrump]

@danmartell You're either about to have a stroke, you did and most of your braon is gone.
Or, you're actually talking from the true meaning of richness and poorness that has nothing to do with money and assets. 🤘🏼

[Crysthian Medina @TheMindfulGrump]

@ianamikagautam Is because they haven't been created for the well being of everyone, but only for those at the top.
What comes next is even worse. They will enforce you to work.

[Crysthian Medina @TheMindfulGrump]

@mountainwesttax Imagine expecting something from someone just because you think "that's the way it should be".
Beside being indoctrinated, I think the psychopath is in your mirror.