L

Mothering, smothering motherer. Sounds about right.

[L @themotherer]

7YO and his dad’s dinner conversation today -

E - Finish your dinner.
7YO - There’s no protein left. Just rice.
E - Don’t give me that crap, finish it.
7YO - I can’t eat so much rice. I need protein to be strong. What? You don’t want me to get strong? Huh huh huh??

[L @themotherer]

The second-born is just set up a little different. This is the third promotion in swim class this year.

So proud but also conscious of the effect this will have on his older brother who’s 3 years older, started at a younger age and is only 1 level ahead now.

[L @themotherer]

Today is Thursday. 5YO’s bday party is on Saturday. He woke up today and said “1 more day!” When I corrected him, he said “One more day - Friday is the last day before my party!”

[L @themotherer]

There is nothing more rage inducing than waking up early to exercise and, by a stroke of luck, not waking the kids while creeping out of the room, only to spend 30 fucking minutes grappling with the internet to chromecast the video for 2 mins of work out before the kids wake up.

[L @themotherer]

Gabriel and Emily *not* endgame? Oh my heart. Should not watched the S4 part 2 trailer cos now I’m gonna be beleaguered until Sep 12 when I know for sure.

GG @netflix

#emilyinparis

[L @themotherer]

5YO - Mama, how do you say the word, “I don’t, something?”
Me - Wa-nuh, it’s the same as “want to”, but don’t spell it like that. It’s not correct.
5YO - Oohhhh, he doesn’t know how to spell, like me.

[L @themotherer]

5YO - Mama, you know why chickens and people are different?
Mama - Because they have no hands?
5 YO - No, is because humans poo out poo, and chickens poo out eggs.

[L @themotherer]

Is it weird I’m walking out of the kids bookshop with this?

What if I got it for me?

[L @themotherer]

5YO this morning when he peed and it was a vibrant yellow hue.

Me : So yellow, you better drink more water.

5YO : Why? My favourite colour is yellow. So this is good.

[L @themotherer]

In case I get overwhelmed parenting and forget how truly amazing these boys are to each other.

[L @themotherer]

Took a 3D kids-free vacation with my cousin last weekend.

A day after I left, I asked 5YO during a FaceTime call if he wanted me to bring home a gift for him - a toy, doughnuts, candy, or something else. He answered, “No Mama, I already have a present. My best present is you.”

[L @themotherer]

5YO was shouting at his iPad today. Youtube was pulling up search results for “smoke” and he was frustrated, “I never said smoke! Why you keep on finding smoke?! I said ‘dance mode’!”

[L @themotherer]

This morning, I’ve been approached twice by well-meaning strangers telling me that I have a smiley face sticker stuck to my top.

I’ve had to tell them that it was deliberately stuck there by my 5YO this morning with strict instructions not to let it fall off.

[L @themotherer]

My 2YO started wailing when I mentioned attending his Berries enrichment class, “I no wan go Berries class,” he bawled.

Me, sarcastically “So shall we stop Berries and go to Banana class instead?”

2YO - tearfully “Noooo, I wan go Strawberry class.”

[L @themotherer]

I was making breakfast on a schoolday and rushing so I could go get a shower and change for school drop off, all while recovering from a throat infection.

5YO comes up behind me and says, “Mama, here’s some water I poured for you. Drink water okay? So your throat feels better.”

[L @themotherer]

The kids are in school and you order a Milo Dinosaur at a kid-free breakfast and it comes with sprinkles. So you take a picture of it to show the kids after school that there’s a place which serves Milo Dinosaur with their favourite sprinkles!

[L @themotherer]

I think my co-sleeping 5YO is part bear, at least his sense of smell is.

Every night, while asleep, he slides over to my side of the bed and usurps my pillow, leaving me dangling off the bed. Never ever on the husband’s side. Even when we switch sides on vacation.

[L @themotherer]

The day my helper got her UK visa approved, all these posts about or from London starts appearing in my IG recommendations feed. I haven’t even had time to type the word “London” or related anywhere into my phone. #coincidenceornot

[L @themotherer]

5YO came home today with a drawing of his favourite teacher, himself and me.

Not seeing the connection, I asked, why us three? “Cos Miss V is kind to me. And I love Mama, even when you are angry with me.”

He really is the most beautiful soul I’ve ever met, undeservedly so.

[L @themotherer]

Covid is the greatest enabler of screen time. I’m too far gone to be able to think about the repercussions of excessive screen time for the kids. I just want to curl up in a ball and wait for the pain to be over.