Magnus Turner MP

Re-engaging a disengaged public

[Magnus Turner MP @themtmp]

You never have a deadline when there's a good excuse for missing it, do you

[Magnus Turner MP @themtmp]

Oh, calm down. It was a perfectly innocent slip of the kim jong un

[Magnus Turner MP @themtmp]

Wonderful to see old man Blair back in the spotlight! Although I enjoyed him more when he was mocking Thatcher for back seat driving.

[Magnus Turner MP @themtmp]

Just placed a bet on the date of my next birthday

[Magnus Turner MP @themtmp]

@afneil I believe it was in the papers, old chap

[Magnus Turner MP @themtmp]

Warmest wishes to @NatalieElphicke on what must have been a very difficult day. I promise it WILL get easier. My third defection was definitely the smoothest.

[Magnus Turner MP @themtmp]

@Nigel_Farage Horses? YUK!

[Magnus Turner MP @themtmp]

There is nothing wrong with my cognitive ability, but if you ask someone “who is the prime minister?” you should allow them to check their phone.

[Magnus Turner MP @themtmp]

I’ve never used WhatsApp

It sounds hideously complicated

[Magnus Turner MP @themtmp]

No dolphins in the jungle, I suppose

[Magnus Turner MP @themtmp]

Now Mr. Generic is outside the tent peeing in, I strongly urge the PM to outlaw tents.

[Magnus Turner MP @themtmp]

Streeting's criticism that the government trades in "slogans, not solutions" is an excellent...er...

[Magnus Turner MP @themtmp]

Leave it, Suella. He ain't worth it.

[Magnus Turner MP @themtmp]

Hopefully, Cameron just left one of his kids in the Downing Street bathroom

[Magnus Turner MP @themtmp]

@mrjamesob Bit of a mix up, actually. I just suggested he should re sign his office

[Magnus Turner MP @themtmp]

I see he has another number one priority, then.

[Magnus Turner MP @themtmp]

I have sent the Prime Minister a personal message of support and encouraged him to hold his nerve.

[Magnus Turner MP @themtmp]

With immediate effect, I have resigned from my village social club over its clientele’s response to the Farage bank account matter

[Magnus Turner MP @themtmp]

I think this is the day Mr. Khan won the argument.

ULEZ has been proven beyond doubt to help the Prime Minister breath easier.

[Magnus Turner MP @themtmp]

#norme