The Onion

American based newsprint, reporting the most important news at MUNCH right to you.

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Thank you for a last MUNCH. https://t.co/5KRzdg4iWl

[MUNCH WHO 2016 @munchWHO2016]

Thank you to all delegates for a wonderful weekend!

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@HuffPo_munchxvi @BBC_munchxvi Congrats Guys!

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It's been an honor guys. #munchxvi #ImGonnaMissYouGuys

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@munch_xvi_press has a massive snap cup just like every other committee.

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Aphrodite applauded for emulating the habits of Zeus. #munchxvi #GreekGods

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Dionysius contracts multiple STDS from fling with Aphrodite #munchxvi #scandal #GreekGods

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Greek Gods continue serious debate. Completely serious. Not stupid as well. #munchxvi #GreekGods

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@munch_xvi_press working hard on their UNC homework.

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RNC Chair gets salty after Zeus, lord of lightning smites him. #DNC #RNC #munchxvi #GreekGods

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RNC Nominee Ted Cruz under disillusion that he won the race. President Sanders has yet to respond. #munchxvi #RNC #DNC

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Zeus takes advice from his dad Cronus, swallows all children. #DaddyIssues #GreekGods #munchxvi

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In upstart third party victory, Bernie Sanders wins presidential election. #munchxvi #DNC #RNC

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Napoleon arrives in Quebec, starts military conquest of the Americas. Newly split States of America dealing. #DontTreadonMe #munchxvi

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Aaron Burr's approval rating higher than ever after sacrificing the rest of committee to the Greek Gods #DontTreadonMe #munchxvi #GreekGods

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The United States have just become the Disunited States. Each state to form own separate country. #munchxvi #DontTreadonMe

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Is Al Franken even an American citizen #HesNot #munchxvi

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I would like to announce that I've found a replacement for my lost dog fluffy. #Fluffy2 #PuppyOfCerberus #ThreeHeadedDog

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We'd like to help Dionysus and Aphrodite announce their new baby. #KnockedUp #munchxvi #GreekGods

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"I just want to let you all know, whatever happens, Daddy loves you." -Zeus to the other Godd

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Delegates trash talk Warren are unfounded, done maliciously to slander name. #munchxvi #DNC #mean