Danya

[Trixie Mattel™ @trixiemattel]

Hello to the Swedish people 🇸🇪

[Danya @theperfectloner]

My therapist complimented my hairstyle today… through every dark night and all that

[Danya @theperfectloner]

Maybe in another life cause this one wasn’t right

[Danya @theperfectloner]

Neighbour just walked past on the phone shouting “I’m not trying to be rude right, but your genetics are shit. I’m just saying, you should find a way to fix your genetics” I’m crying

[Danya @theperfectloner]

A guy walked past my window and said “this is my last week with Betsy, I’m trading her for a newer model” and I’m still trying to figure out if he meant a woman or a car

[Danya @theperfectloner]

How r u beautiful

[Danya @theperfectloner]

I hope they meet your best friend and they choose her

[Danya @theperfectloner]

I hope you never fall in love again

[Danya @theperfectloner]

The cat was sprawled on the bed and im like ‘ok you can stay here while I shower, you protect the bed’ and then she ATTACKED ME. Which in fairness I can’t be mad at because I did say protect bed and I am the only one here. Like who else is she protecting it from?

[Danya @theperfectloner]

Hahahaha the cat just fell off the windowsill

[Danya @theperfectloner]

Seahorse couples greet each other in the morning with a hug and a little dance, and that’s all I really need

[Danya @theperfectloner]

She’s just waddling beside him in what looks like a giant poncho

[Danya @theperfectloner]

Sitting in the car park and a young dad is walking with his daughter when it starts raining. She’s crying because she didn’t take her jacket and he takes off his body warmer and wraps it around her and my heart just melted🥹

[Danya @theperfectloner]

Bruno is more of a household name than my dad is

[Danya @theperfectloner]

“I feel that my presence is enough of a statement on its own, even in silence”😭😭

[Danya @theperfectloner]

While it was all going accordingly to plan, then Billy Brown fell in love with another man

[Danya @theperfectloner]

Jonah just ate two doughnuts without me through the house and didn’t take me one through and I’m fuming

[Danya @theperfectloner]

“I promised you I was going to go pretty fast” FUCKING WHERE?? #DeppVsHeard #JohnnyDeppVsAmberHeard

[Danya @theperfectloner]

Like I find myself fully zoning out just like I did back then

[Danya @theperfectloner]

I feel like we’ve all had a rambling customer like Elaine #DeppVHeardTrial #ElaineBredehoft