Should probably voluntarily hospitalize myself but I know that if I did I will never catch up on bills so no matter how much progress I make while inpatient I would end up feeling miserable the second I was out all over again so Iβll just keep fighting the thoughts one hour at a
For every single time someone makes me feel stupid as fuck for treating them with kindness they couldnβt give me you would think I would fucking learn.
I just keep rereading what Iβve written and being kind of impressed with myself and also knowing Iβll never let anyone see it so I wonβt know if itβs actually good or Iβm just biased lol
PLEASE NOT ANOTHER FUCKING PERSON HEARING ME SAY IM NOT DOING WELL AND THT IM SORRY FOR BEING DISTANT BUT JUST WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE AND THEN IGNORING ME AND GOING ON A 30 MIN RANT ABOUT SOMETHING I CANNOT TAKE ON ANYONE ELSES BAGGAGE NO ONE REPAYS THIS EMOTIONAL LABOR I AM TIRED
I love being the person who people expect to drop everything to help them at any moment while I am currently sitting 3 ft from someone who puts all her baggage on me and telling her that Iβm not ok, Iβve had multiple anxiety and/or panic attacks today, and I need help, and she