Oxford Coma

All aboard the train to nowhere, I am your conductor

[Oxford Coma @TheReal0G]

Thirty, dirty, & dying

[Oxford Coma @TheReal0G]

Me in the living room when I hear rustling cellophane in the kitchen

[Oxford Coma @TheReal0G]

You can search the whole world to find the perfect man and he’ll still manage to post the most unflattering photos of you on social media

[Oxford Coma @TheReal0G]

I finally made it to ✨1000✨!!

(posts, not followers)

[Oxford Coma @TheReal0G]

Word: applause
My brain: apple sauce

[slick @dlicj]

last bird watching trip there was a guy out there looked super serious, decked out in the nicest birding gear. my buddy turns to me “see that guy? biggest poser there is. never seen a bird. doesn’t even know what they are”

[Haley OC @MILFWEEED]

It should be illegal to charge more than $1000 in rent if there’s not in unit laundry

[h @ipodmacbook]

2022 is going to rock. my birthday is this year

[sensory homunculette @myfriendcallie]

I let him hit because he answered my riddles three

[Oxford Coma @TheReal0G]

Where is Ben Affleck we need to make this a movie

[Fred Delicious 🍆 @Fred_Delicious]

quarter pounder with bees

[jon drake @DrakeGatsby]

YOUR MOM IS SO OLD she’s at an elevated risk for Covid and I hope she’s taking extra steps to ensure her safety during this frightening time

[Road Dog Karl @HammerFist3]

Smfh at these mfs on their parum pa pum pum shit

[donni saphire @donni]

Another night in a crumbling empire, waiting for the oceans to rise