Benjamin Stacy

Comedian based outta Charlotte, NC

[Benjamin Stacy @therealbenstacy]

I once worked with a guy named Messiah and all I could think was "Man, his parents must've had higher expectations for him, than mine did for me!"

[Chris Monds @cmondscomedy]

They said “Shrimps are roaches of the sea”……well just call me Raid

[Benjamin Stacy @therealbenstacy]

My mom: If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all.

Me: Guess I'm taking a vow of silence...

[Benjamin Stacy @therealbenstacy]

Apparently a lot of fellas don't like to be called "incels". I guess they prefer the politically correct term.

Virgins...

[Benjamin Stacy @therealbenstacy]

I am not at all a fan of "woke" culture.

However I hate people who won't shut up about how much they hate woke culture more...

[Benjamin Stacy @therealbenstacy]

Donating to the police is just a legal form of bribery...

[Benjamin Stacy @therealbenstacy]

Air Fryers are just Easy Bake Ovens for adults...

#airfrydeez #yourenotachef #jokes

[Benjamin Stacy @therealbenstacy]

What kind of an asshole says something like "I don't see race"?

I just say I'm color blind...

[Benjamin Stacy @therealbenstacy]

I'm a punk rocker who made it past 30. That means I'll slowly settle in to the suburbs, golf in Vans and join the HOA just to fuck their shit up a little from within...

#agingpunk #USAnarchy #peace

[Benjamin Stacy @therealbenstacy]

They should change the name of the show "Succession" to "Crazy Rich Caucasians" ...

#SuccessionHBO #Succession #jokes #funnymemes

[Benjamin Stacy @therealbenstacy]

I wanna be very clear. I have ABSOLUTELY nothing against the religious ideals of Christianity. I actually agree wholeheartedly with the overall philosophy of it.

It's the toxic fan base that tends to surround it that makes me go "Nah, I'm good"...

#agnostic

[Benjamin Stacy @therealbenstacy]

I'm from the South, where our charcuterie boards come with a side of ranch...

#southern #fancy #charcuterie #jokes #laugh #Peace

[Benjamin Stacy @therealbenstacy]

We have a saying where I come from: One man's trailer trash is another man's trailer treasure...

[Benjamin Stacy @therealbenstacy]

I don't think certain people forget where they came from.

Quite the opposite actually I think those people know EXACTLY where they came from and are just trying to avoid being there forever...

#FoodForThought #growthmindset

[Benjamin Stacy @therealbenstacy]

Friend: How's work going?

Me: Well I realized that prostitutes make $200 an hour, where as my warehouse job fucks me constantly for $17 an hour...

[Dolly Parton @DollyParton]

All you need is a smile and a little sparkle. ✨😉

[Benjamin Stacy @therealbenstacy]

Nobody is against education more than a well educated person who wants control over a group of uneducated people...

#EducationForAll

[Benjamin Stacy @therealbenstacy]

I finally went off on the coworker I hate the most today.

The look everyone had on their face when they saw me screaming at a mirror for ten minutes was priceless...

#selflove #jokes #comedian

[Benjamin Stacy @therealbenstacy]

I used to be suicidal. Thank God I'm a procrastinator...

[Benjamin Stacy @therealbenstacy]

Everyone gets songs stuck in their head, but I have ADHD which mean I have several songs stuck in my head and my brain is always on shuffle.

Oh you got that Kate Bush song in your head? Trying dealing with David Bowie for Soup...