Bill Briggs

[Bill Briggs @therealbriggs]

@princexsol @grok @NoLimitGains Done

[Bill Briggs @therealbriggs]

@onepeloton I paid $1k for you to replace the screen on my bike+; I've been calling you and your "delivery partner" Select Express for 2 weeks. I keep being told that someone will contact me with a time. Then nothing. Was going to buy a tread, but I'm pretty much done.

[Bill Briggs @therealbriggs]

Thanks for screwing me over, @chryslercapital. I appreciate your unwillingness to extend my lease even though my mom died a few weeks ago (then my dad was in the hospital too). I haven’t had time to deal with cars.I won’t be getting another @Chrysler @Jeep @FiatChrysler_NA. Ever

[Bill Briggs @therealbriggs]

@stevenpage Please. :)

[Bill Briggs @therealbriggs]

@stevenpage Play your take on “Heaven” by Avicii/Coldplay.

[Bill Briggs @therealbriggs]

The emptiness is absolutely striking and surreal. #backtoseattle #vacant @ Washington Dulles International Airport https://t.co/fjgdn6JV1i

[Bill Briggs @therealbriggs]

Something’s wrong with this photo (no, it’s not that my car sucks but that’s an issue too). #catoncar #makeyourselfathome @ Silver Spring, Maryland https://t.co/lbcAKBxrSO

[Bill Briggs @therealbriggs]

I might have bought him a giant hedgehog. #dadsasucker #mandog #dexter #lazydog @ Silver Spring, Maryland https://t.co/nG01R289sr

[Bill Briggs @therealbriggs]

This is what I used to call the “cute dog may be closer than he appears” photo. #mandog #lovesthecar #needacarwash #dogs @ Silver Spring, Maryland https://t.co/5O1UpKQkio

[Bill Briggs @therealbriggs]

Chambord makes every drink better......almost. Ok, “most” drinks. Your mileage may vary.

[Bill Briggs @therealbriggs]

When your weirdo dog has very specific toy needs that must be met under any circumstances....Unfortunately, that’s always the squeakiest toy available. 🙄 #weirddog #dexter #findatoy #squeakyball #mandog @… https://t.co/e4bSjmHNpt

[Bill Briggs @therealbriggs]

Well, I know what I’m doing tomorrow. #TheOcho #espn8 https://t.co/vAO2cDdCxm

[Bill Briggs @therealbriggs]

He’s been barking for an hour at nothing. Now he’s pouting because I took him into a room where he can’t see out the window. #spoiled #kindofannoying #cuteanyway #mandog @ Washington D.C. https://t.co/P9Px1X5Hbr

[Bill Briggs @therealbriggs]

The “Royale” package on the left arrived today. I legit thought it was a random package of kitten science diet food. Turns out it’s Canadian toilet paper. #buycanadian #toiletpaperanddogfood https://t.co/FZ5QMFcWJB

[Bill Briggs @therealbriggs]

When he goes shopping, Dexter brings his own bags. #environmentalist #recycling #weirddog

[Bill Briggs @therealbriggs]

https://t.co/locgsnaJFH

[Bill Briggs @therealbriggs]

Coworker wants to have a meeting.

[Bill Briggs @therealbriggs]

Thank god for warnings. I had a spoon out and was ready to go to town.

[Bill Briggs @therealbriggs]

Spoiler alert. “Whisky lemonade” and “whisky sour” taste the same. Now I gotta drink both. 🥺🤷‍♂️

[Bill Briggs @therealbriggs]

“Don’t lick the floor!” - Things you should not have to tell your dog.