Aloha Twitter,
Coming home soon. Too many sneaky japs in Hawaii. Pearl Harbor very sneaky Japan. The kids say they miss me. Fuck em. More rum and coke. More mai tai. Not enough Tsing Tao. Make Chan sick.
Mahalo,
Chan Lee
Capital University Police Department, I feel safe at night knowing you guys are ticketing the scum that try to park their cars too close when it’s pouring rain outside. Serves them right! Keep on doing God’s work! Promotion is imminent! Cheers to the future mall cops of America!