Ellen Koch

“I know nothing about it, except that I’m not Baptist.”-me

[Ellen Koch @therealellen_]

Thank you @AndyMineo for spending 35 hours with me this year on @Spotify. You are my #1.

My Spotify doesn’t lie. Andy you’ve given me so much hope over the years, helped me draw closer to God, and gifted my ears with what I truly believe is some of the best art that could exist.

[Ellen Koch @therealellen_]

When you’re fit app says “check yourself as much as you check instagram “....I’m like 👀👀👀 #calledout

😬

[Ellen Koch @therealellen_]

When cheese is like “serving size: 1 slice” my response is “Not today Satan”.

What kind of sorcery is that?!? 1slice? 1!!!! How can I be expected to satisfy my craving with 1SLICE!

[Ariel Helwani @arielhelwani]

Fight goes the distance. It all comes down to the 2nd round. This is gonna be very interesting. Santos fought valiantly and man oh man can Jones take a punch.

[Chuck Mindenhall @ChuckMindenhall]

I mean...I think...I think Santos might've won that?

[Ellen Koch @therealellen_]

Logic. My friend, you drop fire every time. ❤️

[Ellen Koch @therealellen_]

@EbonyHadassah @JordanPeele @Lupita_Nyongo @Winston_Duke That’d be me. 🙋🏼‍♀️

[Ellen Koch @therealellen_]

I just love Cardi B.

[Ellen Koch @therealellen_]

When I see people walk out of a Marvel movie after the first end credit scene, #amateurs

[Ellen Koch @therealellen_]

I’m crying. #damn

[Ellen Koch @therealellen_]

When you get in the express line at the grocery store and it’s anything but bc they put the slowest cashier possible here.

[Ellen Koch @therealellen_]

Yo the US needs to get on Italy’s level with their vending machines. I can get an nice litte cappuccino for €1, like let’s go America

[Ellen Koch @therealellen_]

Sometimes you have to take an L, but not when DC tries to charge you $500 for a parking ticket. 😒

[Ellen Koch @therealellen_]

Me: “I don’t want you to move from this house, we live so close together” 😭
@bekschex “Well nothing is written in ‘stone’” 😂 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
#punsfordays

[Ellen Koch @therealellen_]

I love when my questions are answered, we can see this

[Fairfax County Police @FairfaxCountyPD]

Detectives are heading to the 6200 blk of Little River Turnpike after a man was shot just after 9:30. He was taken to the hospital. We don't believe there to be a threat to public safety.

[Tall Glass of Honey🍯 @MsMilkandHoney]

AMERICA IS SO BORING. All we have is racism and red necks.😕

[Ellen Koch @therealellen_]

He’s a genius.