Jes

wizards. dragons. tacos. mice. tunes. 90s. 80s. space fights. light swords. pizza. games. whiskey.

I make magic for a living. 🐭

I'm somebody's mother.

[Jes @therealjesmays]

@vmas But who won best group?

[Jes @therealjesmays]

I am floored by their kindness and just all around awesomeness. Thanks friends! You made all the difference in our day.

[Jes @therealjesmays]

@UniversalORL #uofistbump to Hailey, Gaby and Alyssa at Pteradon Flyers. This is a couple of weeks late, but I didn't forget! They all made an incredible moment happen for my 3 year old daughter by getting her on the ride and gifting her, her very own emotional support raptor.

[Jes @therealjesmays]

@GuyHutchinson Well dang, I wish I would have known about the photoshoot. 🥰

[Jes @therealjesmays]

https://t.co/mutnCAsxMH

I will treasure this forever.

Thank you Bob, for literally everything.

[Jes @therealjesmays]

@bobsaget I've written this once and had to circle back. It's still so rough, and it will never be perfect.

Bob Saget is more than a celebrity death for me. Bob is a beacon of my childhood. A raunchy flag of my adulthood. A sigh of relief in relating to the world.

I grew 1/7

[Jes @therealjesmays]

worth it.

Thank you. Thank you for teaching me empathy, humor, and sarcasm.

Sorry for the novel guys. This one hits fucking hard.

[Jes @therealjesmays]

We love Cards Against Humanity. They out here doing the good work.

ATTENTION FRIENDS. I HAVE RECEIVED FIVE DOLLARS FROM CARDS AGAINST HUMANITY IN EXCHANGE FOR POSTING THIS ADVERTISEMENT. GET YOUR OWN FIVE DOLLARS AT https://t.co/roBAmOPzZV #GOTFIVEDOLLARS

[Jes @therealjesmays]

What happens when Facebook and Instagram go down? I have to express my frustrations on other platforms.

[Jes @therealjesmays]

@UniversalORL the biggest #uofistbump to Hunter from Houston but works around Hogsmeade. We came for Velocicoaster previews & only one of us managed to get preview times, Hunter made our day amazing by walking us on to Hagrid's and letting us ride front row. You da best Hunter!

[Jes @therealjesmays]

@nbcsnl So, in 2021, on pretty much the anniversary of this event, y'all gonna make a mockery of 1500 peoples deaths? Cool cool cool cool cool. In 70 years is SNL gonna make fun of 9-11 too? "Those planes bumped into me!" This is in such poor taste. Gross.