Taylor Burton

Here I am.

[Taylor Burton @TheRealTBurt]

*Boyfriend winces in pain from a Charlie horse*

Me: what do I do? should I punch it?

Boyfriend: please do not help anyone ever

[Taylor Burton @TheRealTBurt]

Caught a hotdog wbu

[Taylor Burton @TheRealTBurt]

I didn’t know until I met my bf that I really needed someone to act extra and say “omg! Who did that to you?!” everytime I show him the tiniest bruise I get.

[Taylor Burton @TheRealTBurt]

Who is she

[Taylor Burton @TheRealTBurt]

If there were a playlist about Lake Charles, what songs would you add? I’m gonna start off with ‘Harder to Breathe’— Maroon 5

[Taylor Burton @TheRealTBurt]

@meow_shlen 🙅‍♀️

[Taylor Burton @TheRealTBurt]

When I see ghost pictures on the internet, I just wonder if we pick our own outfits when we become one? Or are you assigned the same outfit every day like a cartoon? Whose clothes are those?

[Taylor Burton @TheRealTBurt]

If y’all ever want to know what an old white ppl neighborhood is like: Every year I make the neighborhood candied pecans, but this year I’m running late. Last night, someone left a passive aggressive empty jar on my doorstep to remind me what time of year it is.

[Taylor Burton @TheRealTBurt]

It’s the week leading up to Christmas and I have to work?? When Santa is literally coming to town???

[Taylor Burton @TheRealTBurt]

This is the first time I’ve seen mitochondria in a sentence that’s not “the powerhouse of the cell”

[vita @majipres]

not everyone is autistic, some of you miss social cues because you smoke so much weed that you’re experiencing mitochondrial dysfunction. THC blocks lactate production in your brain which impairs your social skills/behavioral responses

[Taylor Burton @TheRealTBurt]

Level unlocked: explain eating clean to the Silent Generation

[Taylor Burton @TheRealTBurt]

Just an office full of SAD

[Taylor Burton @TheRealTBurt]

I had the strangest urge to call pigs in a blanket “glizzies in a hizzy”

Things are going well, thank you

[Taylor Burton @TheRealTBurt]

I’ve realized the reason I didn’t have SAD as a kid is bc I wasn’t going to work with sunrise and leaving work after sunset. Mind ur business if u see me periodically stare at the sun for an oz of serotonin

[Taylor Burton @TheRealTBurt]

Happy Halloween to Frankenstein’s monster, who understood the true meaning of a YEET

[Taylor Burton @TheRealTBurt]

Mama told her not to; she did it anyway

[Taylor Burton @TheRealTBurt]

I lowkey feel betrayed by LSAC because logic games was several months of my life I’ll never get back

[Dave Killoran @DaveKilloran]

BREAKING: Starting with the August 2024 LSAT, the Logic Games (Analytical Reasoning) section will be eliminated from the LSAT!

It will be replaced with a second scored Logical Reasoning section. Scoring stays the same. More to come soon.

[Taylor Burton @TheRealTBurt]

Plant ailments have the most generic names. Like, I’ll look up a problem and it’ll be like oh your plant has developed “brown spot”

[Paul Blart @swagmastarpaul]

It’s Friday the 13th (in October) which means you have to give all black cats an extra treat and a little smooch on their head

[Taylor Burton @TheRealTBurt]

@QueenLenziEsq @bcn74