still a futon, just in spirit now

i’m a red futon, nothing makes me special.

[WeRateDogs @dog_rates]

This is Alvin. He forgot to pack enough carrots for all the other dogs at the park, so not everyone got one. Can’t believe he was so foolish. Today of all days. Still 12/10

[liza @lizardwt]

well my new license plate came in today... wish i could say i paid extra as some sort of sick joke but no. i just so happen to have the worlds worst luck.

[Columbus Dispatch @DispatchAlerts]

In a matter of days, Kelly Conkey Billups lost her brother and her parents to coronavirus. Her 51-year-old husband, Don, now clings to life on a ventilator. She is sharing her story because she has a message to others: Stay home.
Read more: https://t.co/ZA1U05qrIk

[The New York Times @nytimes]

Some of the ICU patients are in their 80s; others in their 30s. Some have asthma or diabetes, but others seemed to have no risk factors at all.

The message from the overwhelmed staff remains the same: "Stay home. Protect yourself."
https://t.co/EsdIREcBY4

[Chels @chelstillman_]

I told my roommates I didn’t want people over because I’m at risk 🙃🙃

[still a futon, just in spirit now @theredfuton]

the red futon caught coronavirus and evolved into a human. looks are only a 5.2/10, but it seems jokes and content will remain a 10/10

[Bloomberg @business]

BREAKING: China has concealed the extent of the coronavirus outbreak in its country, under-reporting both total cases and deaths, the U.S. intelligence community concluded in a classified report https://t.co/5tdbtMT158

[BuzzFeed News @BuzzFeedNews]

Sundee Rutter, a single mother of six and breast cancer survivor, died as a result of the coronavirus.

Her kids had to say goodbye over a walkie-talkie. https://t.co/Q6ngTifIZs

[Yashar Ali 🐘 @yashar]

Woman, 90, dies from coronavirus in Belgium after refusing a ventilator and telling doctors: 'I had a good life, keep this for the younger'
https://t.co/0vSCHgIn5R

[Ananya Sen @AnanyaS1190]

This. GIF. Is. Everything. https://t.co/AJTRxvzKfH

[danielle🪲 @bug_girl_babey]

College students:
- Don’t qualify for $1200 check if claimed as dependents
- Don’t qualify for $500 bc over 18
- Don’t get tuition refund
- Don’t get rent forgiveness for off-campus housing
- Don’t get to keep on-campus jobs
- Don’t get student loan forgiveness
- ?????

[still a futon, just in spirit now @theredfuton]

In case anyone missed @GovMikeDeWine’s press conference yesterday about the #Covid_19 situation, here’s a clip from it about how long Ohioans might have to #StayAtHome to #FlattenTheCurve

[Taylor ☾ @tastefullytayy]

Coronavirus has crossed the line for Italians
https://t.co/wmI41MKZZn

[still a futon, just in spirit now @theredfuton]

*The Coronavirus to the world economy*

“Mr. Worldwideeeee.. it’s going down, i’m yelling timber!”

[still a futon, just in spirit now @theredfuton]

are dicks really just human straws...?🤔

[🤌🏻🐄🤌🏻 @radical_strudle]

This is for Ohio you big, flat, mostly white, windy bitch. Why you blew me into a pole while I was walking downtown you cold, tornado, indecisive weather having, flat bitch. Square body, no elevation change ass bitch. I’m packing up here and I’m gonna move tf out of you bitch.

[kim @KimmyMonte]

this dog literally failed every single test thrown at him to become a service dog and i am scream laughing. but imho he’s still a very very good boy.

[still a futon, just in spirit now @theredfuton]

@meghandevol i say we start our own property company and replace the current one we have

[still a futon, just in spirit now @theredfuton]

almost choked on a singular reese’s puff today, so that’s how my day went.