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not a lawyer

[name cannot be blank @thereitisnt]

If you're having trouble finding an affordable pasta topping that works for you, it's time to stop blaming humble sauce companies and start blaming big parma.

[name cannot be blank @thereitisnt]

i love a chaotic gathering of events told in a digital landscape

[name cannot be blank @thereitisnt]

"This white person knows his cartoon pigs"

[name cannot be blank @thereitisnt]

@Berndthoughts Petition to start calling Stan Bowman "Banned Snowman". Thoughts?

[name cannot be blank @thereitisnt]

Hilary Duff should start either an outerwear company or cannabis company and call it "Hilary Puff"

[name cannot be blank @thereitisnt]

I love that "voila" is just the French equivalent of "hoop there it is"

[name cannot be blank @thereitisnt]

How can you read a ball if you can't even think straight?

[name cannot be blank @thereitisnt]

🐦🐦🐦🐦🐦🐦🐦🐦🐦🐦

[name cannot be blank @thereitisnt]

Drake is just a kidzbop interpreter and I'll fight anyone who says otherwise

[name cannot be blank @thereitisnt]

Shout out to Tom Cruise's teeth

[name cannot be blank @thereitisnt]

YOU BOTH DON'T HAVE BEAUTIFUL SOULS 😤

[name cannot be blank @thereitisnt]

you're a lonelyback gorillia

[name cannot be blank @thereitisnt]

"These horses are bred for this, they're athletes themselves"

[name cannot be blank @thereitisnt]

It's like a reverse corn on the cob

[name cannot be blank @thereitisnt]

I'm at the defeceit here, you're pulling up words

[name cannot be blank @thereitisnt]

I like to see my carcasses

[name cannot be blank @thereitisnt]

Babies look like adults that haven't fully grown... but like as adults... you know what I mean?

[name cannot be blank @thereitisnt]

Game over Mr. Watson

[name cannot be blank @thereitisnt]

Evan is actually a ghoul and he went into Mark Walberg

[name cannot be blank @thereitisnt]

That's a double whammy

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November is such a hard time to be skinny