Alan tabern

[Alan tabern @thesaint170]

The wife says: I heard a noise The wife means: I noticed you were almost asleep.

[Alan tabern @thesaint170]

The wife says: I need wedding shoes. The wife means: The other forty pairs are the wrong shade of white.

[Alan tabern @thesaint170]

The wife says: Do you like this recipe? The wife means: You better get used to it.

[Alan tabern @thesaint170]

What you will never here a woman say! What do you mean today's our anniversary?

[Alan tabern @thesaint170]

The wife says: How much do you love me? The wife means: I did something today you're not going to
like.

[Alan tabern @thesaint170]

The wife says: Do you love me? The wife means: I'm going to ask for something expensive.

[Alan tabern @thesaint170]

The wife says: I'll be ready in a minute. The wife means: Kick off your shoes and take an hour nap.

[Alan tabern @thesaint170]

The wife says: We need to talk. The wife means: I need to complain. The wife says: Sure... go ahead. The wife means: I don't want you to

[Alan tabern @thesaint170]

To most people solutions mean finding the answers. But to chemists solutions are things that are still all mixed up.

[Alan tabern @thesaint170]

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with little tiny spoons and forks, so I wonder what Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks?

[Alan tabern @thesaint170]

Rainbows are just to look at, Not to understand!

[Alan tabern @thesaint170]

If someones selling fish that are going "cheap" is that like someone selling birds that are going "bob"

[Alan tabern @thesaint170]

Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make out the numbers!

[Darts Tickets! @talkDarts]

@thesaint170 hi Alan any chance a RT or a shout out for my new page?

[Alan tabern @thesaint170]

Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back into a sun in the daytime! Wow.

[Alan tabern @thesaint170]

@BullyBoy180 done mate! I think! Lol

[Alan tabern @thesaint170]

@JPipe180 go on then, how?

[Alan tabern @thesaint170]

Howd you Check the spelling of a Word in the dictionary if you dont know how to spell it!

[Alan tabern @thesaint170]

@denisovens your mrs might leave you for "a little puff" lol

[Alan tabern @thesaint170]

Having dinner in Lpool, just had "the flaming dragon curry" the bloke looked worried when i ordered. SMASHED IT! Hey curry, u dont know me!