Sean Denver

You people have stood in my way long enough. I’m going to clown college!

[Sean Denver @TheSeanGalway]

“How was your weekend?”
I went to a party, met some folks,
SAW A BUNCH OF DOGS!! Met a dog named Carl! It was fantastic!

[Sean Denver @TheSeanGalway]

No contest.
It’s the creepy @ATT incest commercial

[Sean Denver @TheSeanGalway]

I can’t figure out what’s worse; the @Broncos game or the @ATT commercial where the kids are eavesdropping on their parents “sex life” 🤮

[Sean Denver @TheSeanGalway]

@ThatOldWolf

[Sean Denver @TheSeanGalway]

Me during a job interview:

Potential Employer: “So what do you think sets you apart from other candidates?”

Me: “Well I like to yell the weather forecast to local wildlife. Just yesterday I told a big fat goose that there was a 80 percent chance of snow for Wednesday”

[Sean Denver @TheSeanGalway]

What if Freddie’s verse of lyrics to Under Pressure were deep and profound and Freddie Mercury was like, nope I’m not gonna read that, I got this; De de dep, da deee Dee da tht. Da da de dah!

[Sean Denver @TheSeanGalway]

Here’s a blanket statement: comforter

[Sean Denver @TheSeanGalway]

Me; whenever I let someone in, in traffic.

[Sean Denver @TheSeanGalway]

When was it you realized your parents weren’t as brilliant as you thought they where?
Was it when your Mom couldn’t explain the plot to E.T.? Or was it when they said “Well, Tucker Carson says..”during Thanksgiving dinner?

[Bruh @Bruhtaro_2131]

Yeah I would kill myself after this

[Sean Denver @TheSeanGalway]

Really hope the New owners of the Denver Broncos “rollback” ticket and beer prices 🤞#BroncosCountry

[Sean Denver @TheSeanGalway]

I can’t wait for Joe Rogan to play next years Super Bowl Halftime show.

[Sean Denver @TheSeanGalway]

No one:

The wicked witch of the east: FUUUUUUUCK WATER!

[CCTV_IDIOTS @cctv_idiots]

Master of the cheese slice 😂

[Sean Denver @TheSeanGalway]

What the Fuck is a Paraben?

[Sean Denver @TheSeanGalway]

@mrcolecooper

[Sean Denver @TheSeanGalway]

Dr: Well the tests came back, everything looks fine; Cholesterol is a little high, but we’ll keep and eye on it.
Now, do you have any questions?

37yo Me: Yeah, do muppets shit?

[🇵🇦Jess🇵🇷 @lovinmygirls218]

Some kids pranked a school board meeting on some Bart Simpson shit and I am crying!! 😭😭😭😭

[Sean Denver @TheSeanGalway]

Jeff Bezos driving down the freeway