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Depression isn’t always crying, staying in bed, or forcing a smile. Sometimes it looks like being distant or irritable with the people you love, feeling disconnected from yourself, battling anxiety and intrusive thoughts, having no energy to reply, and struggling to maintain relationships. Sometimes you’re not trying to push people away you’re just trying to make it through the day.
NO ONE TALKS ABOUT HOW DRAINING IT IS WHEN YOUR MOOD IS CONSTANTLY SWITCHING BETWEEN "KEEP GOING, IT'LL GET BETTER" AND "I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE I'M ABOUT TO GIVE UP"
This is so real.
I’m a grown man, and I lived in so much poverty that there was no money for enjoyment. The money my parents had was strictly for survival.
My life changed about 2 years ago, and now I have “adult money.” 😂 It’s very, very plenty to me sha.
So I decided that I’m going to start experiencing things I wish I had experienced growing up.
I used the train for the first time this year.
Went to the beach for the first time this year.
Went to the zoo for the first time this year.
Tried an expensive restaurant twice this year.
Started trying different delicacies.
I even had “qwasan” this year. That thing that looks like a burger sha. I think the spelling is croissant. 😂
Omo, the number of ice cream flavours I’ve discovered this year alone. I didn’t even know they had alcoholic ice cream. 😭
I’m planning to learn how to swim this year.
Probably driving too.
Rooftop apartment too. 😂
These things sound very normal, but I’m experiencing some of them for the first time as a grown man.
That’s one thing poverty does to you.
It makes you see only one side of the world that exists.
You spend so much time trying to survive that you don’t even realize there’s a whole world of experiences you’ve never had.
And the scary part is that getting the money doesn’t automatically fix your mind.
I’m still mentally struggling to drop some random habits I picked up from those years.
Sometimes your account has changed, but your brain is still in survival mode.
That’s why I’m so against poverty.
Not because I think money is everything, but because I know what poverty can take away from you.
I’m glad I’m helping people figure things out.
Because poverty is a scary place to be.
But we’ll get there soon.
Nothing makes me feel more helpless than being at the mercy of other people. Because the reality is, your emergency is not necessarily anyone else’s emergency. You can be panicking, running out of time and desperately needing something done, while the person you depend on is
Watching people my age have fun and make memories while I’m stuck in my room fighting battles nobody can see. It’s such a strange feeling, seeing everyone live while you’re just trying to get through your own head.
there’s something about gentle dominance that has nothing to do with being controlling. it’s the “give me that, i’ll carry it.” “come here.” “you’re eating first.” “stay close to me.” “don’t worry, i’ve got it.” knowing when to take the lead, make the decision, and quietly take care of you… that kind of attention feels so intimate. sometimes being gently bossed around by someone you trust is literally a love language.
i love how girls who wear pads could not care less about girls who wear tampons but girls who wear tampons have this weird superiority complex over girls who wear pads..