he who is evil

everyone read As Meat Loves Salt

[he who is evil @theusesofamap]

you are wrong if you think anne rice is in hell. she is up in heaven still nodding at erotic marimand art approvingly

[as meat loves salt bot @jacobcullen_bot]

I lay motionless in my dark burrow, breathing his smell. I would have given much to have him hold me and talk to me then, but a grown man is not driven to another's bed by a nightmare. Besides, Ferris did not believe in the Devil.

[as meat loves salt bot @jacobcullen_bot]

There was a gasp; he pulled away and the kindness of our mouths was ended. I froze in the darkness, a child torn from the nipple, one great ache of loss, Let me, let me. His breath faded against my lips.

[as meat loves salt bot @jacobcullen_bot]

I was a fornicator, of unnatural appetite, in thrall to an Atheist. I repeated the words in my head and tried to feel the shock of them, but they remained strange and cruel, far removed from Ferris and me. It was simpler to say I was in love.

[as meat loves salt bot @jacobcullen_bot]

Sometimes I would pause to watch him cut wood or stack turf. I always knew when he had remarked me at this game, for he at once lost his natural grace. Thus did I hunt him.

[as meat loves salt bot @jacobcullen_bot]

He could not see this, because the first time he found me stretched out and the boys cutting my hair he knew what I might be to him. Cruel, to put the water to my lips and then take it away. My lover was a good man, and passionate, and unjust.

[as meat loves salt bot @jacobcullen_bot]

Then all at once - it was perhaps that noise - the blood began to go down in me. I was unable to fuck him.

[as meat loves salt bot @jacobcullen_bot]

'I feared you would be miserable this morning, and I see you happy. Long may it continue! That's all my meaning.'
'Perhaps I am hardened! Sin is our condition,' I said.
'Say rather love is our rightful condition.'

[as meat loves salt bot @jacobcullen_bot]

How did men make themselves loved, I wondered. I had passed all my life with men who were loved but I seemed never to have learnt the lesson.

[as meat loves salt bot @jacobcullen_bot]

You avert your eyes from me. What should I think? For some time I believed I had understood you, and even now am not sure, but begin to fear I am fallen into a horrible error, and blush to think of that whore's trick of leaving the door unlatched. What is become of me?

[as meat loves salt bot @jacobcullen_bot]

'Easy to strip?' leered Tom.
'As a man,' I replied. ‘And everything down below—' Ferris's eyes threatened murder - 'firm, gentlemen. Tight and - best of all - eager.'

[as meat loves salt bot @jacobcullen_bot]

I woke in my own bed, dazzled in my senses, invisible prints and tracks on my flesh. After such thirst, to have him lie on me and drip kisses into my mouth; later, to feel his sweat and trembling, and to remember all this now, with his scent still on me: delight, delight.

[as meat loves salt bot @jacobcullen_bot]

'Like your other handiworks, Jacob: perfection. No, truly, very good,’ for I had caught hold of him and was dragging him towards the pump. We tussled, and I got the water flowing, but let him go without putting him under. After this foolery I felt happier.

[as meat loves salt bot @jacobcullen_bot]

Ferris kissed his aunt and made eyes at me from behind her chair. I could not help but laugh as I wished him a good day.

[as meat loves salt bot @jacobcullen_bot]

We have all of us a secret being, mining deep and invisible within, opening out at our mouths when we kiss, and I had touched him there. If Nathan had done likewise Ferris gave never a sign of it. This did not stop me, sometimes, fermenting my madness by picturing them together.

[as meat loves salt bot @jacobcullen_bot]

'What does it matter what they said? They cut your hair because it was black and shiny.'
I glowed within to know he had measured their envy.

[as meat loves salt bot @jacobcullen_bot]

Now, whether standing close to Ferris or keeping away from him, I was translated. By day it pleased me to be prentice, letting him play Master, but my soul, like a bat, waited wrapped in itself for the night.

[as meat loves salt bot @jacobcullen_bot]

Behind her, a couple holding hands, who must of course be Catherine and Wisdom. Only wait, my turtledoves, I thought. It never lasts.

[as meat loves salt bot @jacobcullen_bot]

In truth I was more likely to stand in the mud and watch him go out of my life forever, staring back at me from the window with his statue's eyes. I was not made to be loved.

[he who is evil @theusesofamap]

@amadeoprincess biancamanders are usually marimand haters too and that's interesting because biancamand isn't any more "ethical" but a woman's presence makes everything innocent to them. they constantly depict bianca as armand's safe haven soft fairy dream girl he frolicks with in the garden

[as meat loves salt bot @jacobcullen_bot]

After a night and a day I would have him safely back, privileged now not only to gaze his fill but also to lay hold of me and possess me entirely.