Cidliness

Master of the grand, sweeping exit and then sheepishly sidling back in the room to get my phone.

[Cidliness @TheWidowJones]

@PersonaPrickly By 50:
1. $0.00 in 401k (cashed out to avoid foreclosure)
2. A divorce story
3. Xanax prescription (as needed)
4. Wake up with pain you didn’t have when you went to bed
5. College graduate offspring living in basement

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Repost if you’re just here because Instagram is down.

[Sarah Ironside 💙 @SarahIronside6]

Imagine being stupid enough to believe that women are carrying healthy babies to the 8th or 9th month then suddenly changing their minds and getting abortions for the sake of convenience. How do people this dumb even remember to breathe?

[Ok Kate @Kateness8]

Just shaving the parts of my legs that are visible through the holes in my jeans

[Brian Munoz @brianmmunoz]

Downtown St. Louis.

[Covie @covie_93]

Sad day when a theatre in Denver has higher standards than the United States House of Representatives.

[Kaylan_TX @Kaylan_TX_]

*pearl clutching ensues*

[Cidliness @TheWidowJones]

Are you throwing away the suuuhun? 🎶🎶🎶

[Shannon Watts @shannonrwatts]

Until just this moment, and after being alive for 52 years, I found out it’s not “Are you reeling in the yeast?”

[Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere]

Do I wanna be warm? Of course. Do I want my house to be warm? Absolutely not. I want my house to be just cold enough that I can smother myself in blankets *thereby becoming* warm. Please respect my process.

[Kieran @kieransofar]

just found out that some people don’t double click the tongs before using them. wtf

[Cidliness @TheWidowJones]

@HumansNoContext

[One Awkward Mom @oneawkwardmom]

I don’t understand people who can fall asleep immediately, when do you do all of your panicking and overthinking?

[Cidliness @TheWidowJones]

Cannot tell you how happy I was when I visited my elderly aunt and uncle in Arkansas and saw that they DIDN’T watch Fox News. They are precious to me and I was worried they had been sucked in. NOPE.

[Jeff Tiedrich @itsJeffTiedrich]

has anyone tried unplugging Mitch McConnell and plugging him back in

[NurseBrianRN @rn_murse]

it’s almost the end of summer and i still look like tilda swinton’s inner arm.

[Liam Nissan™ @theliamnissan]

Relax guys, the people who want to start a civil war over Donald Trump are the same people who think I'm the actor Liam Neeson

[Rolling Stone @RollingStone]

fuck around… find out

[Ricky Davila @TheRickyDavila]

You know who isn’t surrendering to authorities to be fingerprinted and mugshotted?

President Obama, President Biden and Hillary Clinton.

[One Awkward Mom @oneawkwardmom]

If by outdoorsy you mean me going outside to pick up my packages off the porch, then yes I’m outdoorsy.