wise 🍉

[wise 🍉 @thewisefewl]

i bet my ex-wife is to blame for all this

[wise 🍉 @thewisefewl]

@Nude_Gunray brb making some alts

[kit 🍋 @sourkrowt]

so my best friend sent me this song that Tyra Banks made herself for a dystopian young adult book she wrote over a decade ago and i'm being so serious i think she officially made the worst song of all time

[Ellie Goulding @elliegoulding]

@realDonaldTrump Your cameo in Home Alone 2 sucked

[wise 🍉 @thewisefewl]

@ranbooBlankie what if you like that kind of thing asking for a friend

[wise 🍉 @thewisefewl]

@nude_gunray nothing like spending 2 days writing deeply homoerotic nude gunray fanfic in dms to own the liberals

[wise 🍉 @thewisefewl]

just to let everyone know if you haven’t watched Andor yet your bad bitch status is on a precipice

[wise 🍉 @thewisefewl]

If I was a priest I would have a twitch stream from the confession booth. Chat 50 gifted and I’ll tell this guy’s wife

[wise 🍉 @thewisefewl]

It is a period of civil war between SEX and THE CITY. Sex starships, stroking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the evil CITY.

[norberg & co @franzkatka]

nothing behind those eyes

[wise 🍉 @thewisefewl]

what is there to do now that Andor is over. I want Luthen as a therapist. He would be totally unhelpful but at least he loves gossip and with any luck he’d kill me at our last session

[just a @F466OT]

Judy Garland be like

‘Cause I’m too clang clang
Then I’m too fucking trolley
You told me get a ding ding ding
Then you ask where the bell I’ve been

[frankincense zeppo @NoahPasternak]

Was in the audience for The Muppet Show and these two people in the balcony showed absolutely zero decorum. I tried to tell them that their ironic detachment is hurting how they engage with art, but they told me I should engage with a better deodorant. Then I cried

[wise 🍉 @thewisefewl]

hope they cover Ariana and Cynthia in asbestos like in the og wizard of oz otherwise what’s even the point

[Michael Caine @themichaelcaine]

Calm down

[🌈 choweder the Gargoyle King @CornChowderCat]

Guy who is getting dandruff because he does Not like to bathe himself and we know it’s not health related because we Just had full blood work done he is just a little lazy and Wants To Be Nasty

Grease boy

[wise 🍉 @thewisefewl]

I don’t particularly want to be exiled from anywhere but it would be so sick to be called “the exile”. That’s so chic and mysterious what did I do

[Emily✨ @_emilyoram]

Telling my kids this was boygenius

[Carrie Fisher @carrieffisher]

Gay

[Andy Ryan @ItsAndyRyan]

So embarrassing in an antique shop when I tried to buy a vase and it turned out to be the negative space between the faces of two other customers

[wise 🍉 @thewisefewl]

which roles do office sirens work in.
i feel like it’s something specific like payroll. or is it like parks and rec and they’re librarians