Tay

Fur, foam, and STEEL

[Tay @theycallmetape]

People complain about the Android texts in group chats having a green bubble or low message quality. But they often forget about all the benefits for Android users, like believably lying and claiming you never received texts from extended family members you don't want to talk to

[Tay @theycallmetape]

Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson crawled and shit itself so that Hamilton could run. If you need the most specific example of this just listen to The Corrupt Bargain https://t.co/JyiNpLuRmZ and then The Room Where it Happens https://t.co/nmKVzaQ7rJ

[Tay @theycallmetape]

The fun thing about being a dude with long hair in Atlanta is when someone screams at me "Fuck you! White bitch" I never know if I'm being misgendered or just insulted

[Tay @theycallmetape]

@DumasHeaux @ShannonEliza I am not but I wholeheartedly support every part of this message

[Tay @theycallmetape]

Love that I have to say things like "Well he just has a consistent habit of making bad faith arguments on this topic" and not "he's a real dick, please just let me uninvite him from this meeting"

[Tay @theycallmetape]

@nobelsucks Pretty 🏺 take

[Tay @theycallmetape]

<Make a dating profile>
<7 days pass with 0 matches>
<Remove section where I say I want to drink the neon orange cheese at taco bell>
<3 matches overnight>

"Be yourself" my ass

[Tay @theycallmetape]

@nobelsucks @WonderBoy5555 You would. And your lack of disagreeing is VERY telling

[Tay @theycallmetape]

They are such an eloquent speaker, they could even explain ASMR without making it sound like a sex thing

[Tay @theycallmetape]

Okay, first of all, it's not called going 12 hours without eating anything but whiskey and champagne. It's called "Intermittent Fasting", and I read about it on a blog.

Get educated

[Tay @theycallmetape]

Nearly just crashed my car when I saw a palmetto bug crawling up my windshield. Couldn't tell at first if it was on the inside or outside, but decided that either way if I end my own life there is a chance I would take it out with me

[Tay @theycallmetape]

Me drinking anything vaguely cherry flavored: "This tastes like cough medicine and that is disgusting, I can't finish this"

Me drinking cough medicine: "Dang this stuff is tasty, I see why people abuse this"

[Tay @theycallmetape]

@Chatotle This post brought to you by salt side down gang

[Tay @theycallmetape]

I don't know how to accurately describe the feeling of accidentally eating a Ritz cracker upside down, but it is a more unsettling sensation than anything Edgar Allen Poe or H. P. Lovecraft ever imagined

[Tay @theycallmetape]

Alright, vibe check, but since they are playing a song that reminds you of college you can make it at advantage

[Tay @theycallmetape]

Neil Cicierega and Bo Burnham are the two opposite ends of the internet music spectrum and I would drink both through a firehose in 1:1 parts

[Tay @theycallmetape]

NFT are just pet rocks for Silicon Valley kids

[Tay @theycallmetape]

Every time the idea of a four day work week comes up managers always seem to respond with something to the effect of "The four 10 schedule was invented by Big Weekend to sell more Fridays" and act like that justifies not having it

[Tay @theycallmetape]

Part of growing up is realizing that sometimes your omlette is gonna be scrambled eggs. And that's alright

[Tay @theycallmetape]

"Your money isn't backed by anything other than our collective belief in it, and therefore it has no real intrinsic value"

Thems fiating words