Gary

*reads from card* I was once a guest on the TV show 'Would I Lie To You'.

[Gary @thezyge]

If you've been writhing hard all day like I have, you have to expect the odd typo.

[Gary @thezyge]

@SLSingh @mja2705 @TimHarford I'm voting for the Watson & Brick DNA set

[Gary @thezyge]

@PenguinGalaxy @MooseAllain Sam 'n' Moose.
Moose & his dog, Sam, open a posh seafood restaurant. Hilarity ensues. #TVshowsforMoose

[Moose Allain Ꙭ @MooseAllain]

The Beetles

[Nick Harvey @mrnickharvey]

Make your own piano stool simply by eating a piano.

[Gary @thezyge]

@MrLloydSpandex That's a coincidence! My date tonight had to leave 'cos she had a call saying her mum was ill.

…oh :-(

[⋆ @tiny_star_field]

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[Gary @thezyge]

Imagine going a whole day without seeing a minion.

[Gary @thezyge]

Mungo: I've lost all the sports channels.

SatTV Engineer: You touched it again, didn't you.

M: *nods*

STE: *tuts* Every year Mr Jerry.

[Dom Hyams @domhyams]

URGENT PLS SHARE My wheelchair has been stolen this morning. Stoke Newington London. 7.30-8am. Pls RT + track it down

[Scott Hoad @ScottHoad]

Just drew a terrible self-portrait, which is very unlike me.

[Gary @thezyge]

Not looking forward to tomorrow's curry :-/
#NationalOrgasmDay

[Moose Allain Ꙭ @MooseAllain]

More furious discussion at my anti-natal class this week about the spelling and whether I should even be there, given my views.

[Gary @thezyge]

@crowbloke looks like him, but I think it's @DaveGorman

[Gary @thezyge]

Shaggy: "Hey Scoob, who's the lead singer of Madness?"

Scooby: *shruggs*

[Gary @thezyge]

@kerihw https://t.co/R4ERuwuGWd

[Gu1tarChik311 @hottfor_teacher]

Blart Simpson

[Gary @thezyge]

Top Tip: Keep your dead fish happy by shielding it from 'bad' radiation when you cook it. #pseudoscience

[Enough Of That Now @AndyGilder]

The inventor of dog treats has died. He was a good boy. Yes he was.

[Gary @thezyge]

People having sex on a carousel should remember: What goes around, comes around.

[Gary @thezyge]

•Faster than a speeding bullet
•More powerful than a locomotive
•Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound
•Should've gone to Specsavers

[Gary @thezyge]

@crowbloke Tell him to dead-head them.