Jim🅱️o Swisher

Influencer - Entrepreneur - My dad is rich

[Jim🅱️o Swisher @thicckomode]

Pulled up to the McDonalds drive thru

“Hi welcome to McDonald’s can I take your order?”

I say “Cactus Jack sent me!”

With a smile I look to my passenger seat

It’s empty.

That’s where she used to sit.

I know If she was still sitting there she’d be smiling right back at me.

[Jim🅱️o Swisher @thicckomode]

stay the fuck away from my cookie monster snapback Lester

[Jim🅱️o Swisher @thicckomode]

And when we needed him most, he disappeared...

[Jim🅱️o Swisher @thicckomode]

mfs keep blowing me up aha goddamn

[Jim🅱️o Swisher @thicckomode]

off them gas station boner pills

[Jim🅱️o Swisher @thicckomode]

Girls with Cricket Wireless got the best pussy.

[Jim🅱️o Swisher @thicckomode]

fellas...

[Jim🅱️o Swisher @thicckomode]

quarantine got my room lookin messy

[Jim🅱️o Swisher @thicckomode]

🚨🚨ATTENTION🚨🚨

Due to the covid-19 crisis I hereby CANCEL all sex appointments with the hot girls. Trust me I really would like to bang u all but the cdc recommends to stay away. I truly am sorry I won’t be able to provide the sweet pleasures. Stay tuned for future updates.

[Jim🅱️o Swisher @thicckomode]

Social distancing? Shoulda told me that before I fucked ur dads wife

[Jim🅱️o Swisher @thicckomode]

poop dealers been on some fuck shit since the tp got bought out

[Jim🅱️o Swisher @thicckomode]

same vibes

[Jim🅱️o Swisher @thicckomode]

Just found out blink 182 didn’t end up going to #fyrefestival glad I sold my ticket aha

[Jim🅱️o Swisher @thicckomode]

Played catch with Walter today....finally called him dad 😳

[Jim🅱️o Swisher @thicckomode]

she left me for the dude that brings a 20oz mr. pibb to work everyday

[Jim🅱️o Swisher @thicckomode]

if u really wanna save the turtles don’t worry about the straws worry about the vegans eating all their fucking food

[Jim🅱️o Swisher @thicckomode]

just got 12” woofers for my pontiac grand prix

[Jim🅱️o Swisher @thicckomode]

it’s segment 2 at sears for those who are wondering

[Jim🅱️o Swisher @thicckomode]

cash me outside girl made fun of me at drivers ed again

[Jim🅱️o Swisher @thicckomode]

can i get a #fuckwalter in the chat

[Jim🅱️o Swisher @thicckomode]

My mom is still with that pussy Walter but I finally got that job at Zumies #MyTwitterAnniversary