thingaling j junior

I'm some sort of giggleglaggle #okay

[thingaling j junior @thingalinglang]

me with a suspiciously herobrine shaped uterus: I had a one night stand with notch a couple months ago and he told me herobrine was a total hoax. just a dumb creepypasta made up to scare kids haha

[thingaling j junior @thingalinglang]

transphobe walking up to a transman feeling extra creative with his insults today: if you were a cardinal you'd never be red

[thingaling j junior @thingalinglang]

pricked myself with a needle I found on the subway and now I feel the fear a donut feels when a cop enters a krispy kreme

[thingaling j junior @thingalinglang]

dude there's no time to explain but you have to get in my belly right fucking now. you gotta trust me man. it will all make sense in a minute

[thingaling j junior @thingalinglang]

due to unforeskin circumcisions

[thingaling j junior @thingalinglang]

do you remember when kids cartoons tried to convince us people with glasses were the most oppressed people of all???

[thingaling j junior @thingalinglang]

*record scratch*
yup, that's me. you're probably wondering how I got myself in this crazy situation. well i'll tell you. it all started on that fateful day...
Cut To: the world trade center September 11th 2001

[thingaling j junior @thingalinglang]

growing up bisexual and being attracted to both salad fingers and the rusty spoon 🤤🤤🤤

[thingaling j junior @thingalinglang]

if I had a homunculus I wouldn't even torture it because I would be too scared it would grow to resent me and strike back once it's brain fully developed

[thingaling j junior @thingalinglang]

the other day I was in the park at 4 am and some stoned theater majors came up to me and forced me to sing the nation anthem while they yelled "sing white boy sing!" and threw peanuts at me

[thingaling j junior @thingalinglang]

"if i were in warrior cats I'd be in shadowclan" be for fucking real your lazy ass would turn to a life of kittypetitude

[thingaling j junior @thingalinglang]

Borat was shot and killed in LA after trying to interview a tweaker he mistook for Trevor Philips of GTA V who he thought was real. a funeral will be held in kazakhstan later this tuesday

[thingaling j junior @thingalinglang]

does anyone self ship with the hood irony walk cycle gif?

[thingaling j junior @thingalinglang]

what if there was a love island reality show for creepypasta characters I think this is an untapped market

[thingaling j junior @thingalinglang]

BORAT.EXE PURGATORY THEORY
BORAT.EXE PURGATORY THEORY
BORAT.EXE PURGATORY THEORY
BORAT.EXE PURGATORY THEORY

[thingaling j junior @thingalinglang]

would you guys unfollow me if I enveloped myself in a cocoon and emerged more beautiful and fulfilled than ever before? #mycocoon

[thingaling j junior @thingalinglang]

ShEd twitter sounds like twitter for people who really like yard work, but oh, how you would be sorely mistaken

[thingaling j junior @thingalinglang]

[trip sitting my friend on acid]
dude there's no time to explain but you have to eat all the eggs in the fridge in less than 10 minutes because the angry birds found out you took them and they're coming to knock your house down right now dude hurry

[thingaling j junior @thingalinglang]

god please take my suffering and give it to goku. not because he deserves it, but because he could handle it with the tact and grace it requires #healing

[thingaling j junior @thingalinglang]

I have a brain disease that makes me see new colors no one has ever seen before and tbh yall aren't missing out they're lowkey washed