Jess

attempting to inject humor into this dumpster fire. soon-to-be twin solo parent by choice. she/they #BlackLivesMatter.

[Jess @thinksincolor]

@JanelleMonae This album has fucked me up, in the BEST way. Phenomenal is my favorite. Happy Pride y'all 🌈

[Jess @thinksincolor]

Has anyone pointed out the fact that the beloved children's book "The Monster at the End of this Book" is straight up Grover gaslighting toddlers? Can't wait to see what other children's books are like this.

[Jess @thinksincolor]

@nocontxtww man I missed this account

[Jess @thinksincolor]

Butter boards are an abomination. I said what I said.

[Jess @thinksincolor]

Make that TWO twins asleep in cribs, perhaps these are big wins

[Jess @thinksincolor]

Gonna use this platform to track the little wins, maybe?
Little win: one twin asleep in a crib!

[Jess @thinksincolor]

@morninggloria I think I've become less of a procrastinator- w/ twin babies, I'm motivated to get things done and out of the way. While counterintuitive, I think I have become mentally sharper, too, it's like my brain got better at taking in the important stuff and sifting out the rest.

[Jess @thinksincolor]

TIL that an mmm bop is a unit of time, apparently?! for the first time, noticed the lyrics that go: "in an mmm bop you're gone, in an mmm bop you're not there"

[Minthara’s Black Wife 🇸🇩🇵🇸🇨🇩🇵🇷 @TheRealRynnstar]

Remember back in 2020 when the government casually confirmed aliens are probably real and we’ve definitely seen UFOs and we’d already been through so much that the collective public reaction was “damn that’s crazy… Anyway.”

[Jess @thinksincolor]

Okay but here me out: The Expanse, the musical on Broadway, with music by Janelle Monae.
I don't know how you'd do it. But it would be amazing.

[neon (unserious) @neon_heartbeat]

i am once again asking for Muppet's Pride and Prejudice with everyone played by Muppets except Mr. Darcy who is played completely straight by Adam Driver

[Jess @thinksincolor]

@morninggloria omg. today my MAIL CARRIER was blabbing so loudly on a speakerphone right outside my door that it woke up my napping twins. I was DISPLEASED.

[Jess @thinksincolor]

Nobody ever eats tomatoes as vegetable side dish

[Jess @thinksincolor]

It is possible, though perhaps not recommended, to eat spaghetti while holding two babies

[Jess @thinksincolor]

@iainvention this made my day :D

[Jess @thinksincolor]

and that's how one tweet simultaneously ruined my entire early twenties and made me dread impending childbirth even more 😅

[ely kreimendahl @ElyKreimendahl]

“my neck. my back. my pussy and my crack” -things that hurt after childbirth

[Jess @thinksincolor]

Pedicures were invented when someone 34 weeks pregnant with twins attempted to cut their own toenails

[Jess @thinksincolor]

Just Friday thoughts

[Jess @thinksincolor]

@morninggloria hard agree

[Jess @thinksincolor]

@morninggloria my fav pregnancy dream thus far: showing up at the hospital in labor to discover that my medical team is comprised of all 4 ninja turtles