derek

A shaved Sasquatch hiding in Hawaii.

[derek @this_derek]

Ate an edible, drank hard alcohol and now I'm eating black olives off my fingers while sitting on the floor. #FridayNight

[derek @this_derek]

@donni I'm wearing vans with no socks, I'm a monster I know.

[derek @this_derek]

@sedderaside Yassss, vibe.

[derek @this_derek]

You ever have people in your life and think "I don't know how we got here but I'm glad we did"

[Richard Lawson @rilaws]

Me talking about life

[derek @this_derek]

James Webb Deez nuts

[derek @this_derek]

I'm watching below decks and I've never wanted to sink a boat more.

[H. Michael Kre @howardkremer]

Gen X comics, I'll give you double the time Premium Blend gave you if you show up tonight and yell our secret booking phrase

[chib @chibleee]

Rachael Ray’s molotov cocktail recipe

[z @zachreinert0]

“I don’t have any kids...THAT I KNOW OF!”

- Casey Anthony as a stand up comedian

[jake rhodes @jakebrodes]

Hey man wanna grab lunch. We’re going to this taco place called Floofys. All the tacos are like $9 and they suck dick. Theres a bunch of neon signs everywhere that say Be A Messy Bitch and Me Gusta Tequila. a racist gay couple from Vermont owns it. It used to be a womens shelter

[derek @this_derek]

@MakDPostmodern They got it on tap at Hmart I believe.

[natecraig.com @hypeman]

When you can't stop spending dad's emerald mine money killing monkeys with microchip implants.

[derek @this_derek]

Why did nobody tell me about that new @soulglophl album till NOW! Straight bangers!

[derek @this_derek]

@punished_cait Ooh, buckle up. That game is nuts. Lmao

[derek @this_derek]

@MakDPostmodern its called makana beer. So close...

[Bryan Cook @BryanCooking]

What's amazing is people are still going to get high and mighty about shit on this app where they work for free to make an awful rich guy richer