@goblinodds and not, say, professional or economic. i also have the same view of any power imbalanced situation (age gaps between adults for instance) - the solution is to support/empower the structurally disadvantaged party to make their own decisions, not ban interactions altogether
@goblinodds yep i 100% think the solution here is to give women more information about the social environment they're in and more practice asserting themselves. boundaries are absolutely a trainable skill. i think this would work in any case where the only type of pressure/coercion is social
@goblinodds (i am broadly pro-slutcon and so far am not convinced it's doing the harm people say it is, but at the same time it does seem like the general ea/rationalist culture around sex is unfortunately very similar to what i experienced in my autistic-male-heavy undergrad)
@goblinodds hmm i think i have fairly consistent views on this in that i think this (in a sense) about all humans, not just women. like not that they are incapable of saying no to things they don't want but that that capacity is limited. agency is real but limited
@goblinodds and it's quite easy to engage in motivated reasoning in either direction (underestimating or overestimating the amount of agency people have, or can be expected to exercise)
not taking a position on this, just saying i think i have a duck-rabbit take on it
@basilYam yeah this is part of the whole complex of woke millennial feminism's extreme suspicion of men + therapy speak + mental health language + penchant for psychologizing jargon in everything
@basilYam oh yeah another one like this is "breadcrumbing" - that one also now gets used to describe normal relationships when it was supposed to describe narcissistic ones
@basilYam this is also how the whole "setting boundaries means cutting people off" thing spread - "no contact" is also supposed to be a last resort for dealing with narcissistic abusers, not normal people in your life whom you have conflicts with
@goblinodds it can be true both that (1) we should have norms that discourage behaviour that makes women uncomfortable, and (2) we should not interpret "making women uncomfortable" literally in the above
@goblinodds like this seems like a case where very heterogeneous experiences get lumped together under the same label of "making women uncomfortable" and that's why you get all the passionate disagreement about whether it's ok or not