feebu

#1certifiedshitkinkhaver

[feebu @thisisfeebu]

no i don’t have a fucking shit kink do you think i’m a god damn degenerate

[feebu @thisisfeebu]

i feel jesus in this taco bell

[feebu @thisisfeebu]

was internally freaking out about how good the work potluck key lime pie was + trying to figure out who made it only to discover it’s the $8.99 safeway bakery pie. mind blown and heartbroken that my standards might be low

[feebu @thisisfeebu]

thought i had cyclosporiasis until i remembered i had raw poke and an entire cup of whole milk today

[feebu @thisisfeebu]

been a while since i showered, its giving Surf and Turf

[feebu @thisisfeebu]

so you want me to die because i said bug foot

[feebu @thisisfeebu]

An all female Steely Dan cover band called Rose Toy

[feebu @thisisfeebu]

Shut up woman, it’s Make Farts and Play Bloons Tower Defense Time

[feebu @thisisfeebu]

approaching 24 and desperately wanting a ninja creami

[feebu @thisisfeebu]

costco is the only place i don’t have social anxiety

[feebu @thisisfeebu]

I LOVE COTTAGE CHEESE

[feebu @thisisfeebu]

god forbid a fella has a stinky button

[feebu @thisisfeebu]

making the most of my final moments in a job where i can shit for 20 minutes without anyone knowing

[feebu @thisisfeebu]

going to a work event at a venue across the street from my favorite bar 💔

[feebu @thisisfeebu]

bf got hit on by the hot gay barista #feelingproud 🏳️‍🌈

[feebu @thisisfeebu]

vag smelling like a sidewalk in june

[feebu @thisisfeebu]

new vice: roasted turkey parmesan ciabatta sandwhich from peet’s coffee

[feebu @thisisfeebu]

i’ve been counting change incorrectly for seven years let’s gooooooooo

[feebu @thisisfeebu]

crunched the numbers and concluded i have nearly seven years of customer service experience. big shame that i have made minimal improvements in the ways of handling cash transactions or working well in a fast-paced environment. i’m kinda hella friendly tho <3

[feebu @thisisfeebu]

fuckass earthquake made me pee my pants

[feebu @thisisfeebu]

yeah fork found in kitchen, but it’s a very unfortunate fork